#256 Are you ready for enough?
More writing
More food
More money
More running
More friends
More experiences
It’s easier to be ready for more than to be ready for enough.
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#3 Trust issues and the Completion Paradox
ByLukas
Starting a new habit seems to come with three universal “self-trust issues”:
Trust in my Intentions. “Do I even have the time for this? Does making time for this make me selfish… Is it even good for me to spend time on this, out of all the priorities in life? Will this do me in any good in the long term?”
Trust in my Ability to follow through. “I’ll probably give up at the first opportunity, and then beat myself up again for not following through.”
Trust in my Skills. “Am I even good enough? I don’t notice any improvement, I don’t think this is working for me. I don’t think I can do this.”
(Source: Eben Pagan)
And even though I’ve slowly been gaining trust across all three dimensions in the past two years…
Whenever I start something new – like publishing a daily insight – the same trust issues resurface.
“Trust in my ability to follow through” is a particularly tough cookie. Not a day goes by without a self-defeating and endlessly annoying voice whispering in my ear: “Go ahead, try me. See how long you last before you return with another habit you gave up on…”
Which leads me to the Completion Paradox:
Trust in my ability to complete things is not a prerequisite to get started. It’s earned through getting started in the first place and then, slowly, but surely, day by day, following through. Completing something every single day. Proving to myself that I can, in fact, trust myself to follow through. Building up that self-trust every day through tiny trust builders.
So… the questions I keep in mind today:
- How can I bring my positive habit-building experiences from the past, and the trust I built into this new activity?
- What would it feel like if, instead of spoiling the fun of starting this daily publishing with nagging self-doubt, waiting for the “inevitable moment where I’ll give up”… I celebrate each time I’m following through and see it as another step closer to a new habit… another step closer to self-trust?
Taking it one step further:
- What would it feel like to have this new habit in place already? How would I act if I already had enough trust that no matter what happens, even if I miss a day, or even a week, I’ll return back to daily publishing?
And with those questions in mind, I realize a simple thought can put my mind at ease…
“It’s all fine… I’ve been through this before.”
Because when my dreams start drowning in doubts
And desire turns into despair
When I suddenly see what I always had in me
Who I could be
Yet my thoughts already declare defeat
I step back
Look back
Feel back
And when at last I notice
That day by day,
I’m finally unleashing the calling I’ve always ignored
I remind myself
It’s all fine. I’ve been through this before.
#179 Intellectual understanding vs Internalized knowledge
ByLukas
Intellectually understanding that the perfect speech includes a strong opening, humor, a dramatic demonstration, rhetorical elements, and emotional appeal doesn’t mean your next speech will contain those elements right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding the nuances and body positioning of a yoga pose doesn’t mean the next time you stand in that pose, you’ll perform it perfectly right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding verbs, tenses, or case systems in a foreign language doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use them correctly in conversations right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Turning intellectual understanding into internalized knowledge and skill is a slow, layered process:
- Intellectually understand which things to do differently from before.
- Mindfully become aware of the moment when you need to do things differently.
- Do things differently from before.
- Repeat every day.
#418 I don’t care what I write
ByLukas
I don’t care what I write.
I care that I write.
Because only once the daily act of writing isn’t in question anymore, can I start writing what matters.
#220 A reminder to decide
ByLukas
I could decide that writing less than 1000 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.
I could decide that writing more than 50 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.
I could decide that not writing today would be failure – and I would be correct.
After all, for many things in life, you get to decide yourself what’s failure and what’s success.
In fact, my friend, just like me you may have already decided for yourself what’s failure and what’s success.
And just like me, you may need a reminder of that decision once in a while, so you can verify if it still serves you.
This is that reminder.
Which serves me well, because my decision was that writing you this short daily letter is exactly right.
See you tomorrow.
#76 Build Discipline by Starting Small
ByLukas
The trick to building discipline: stick to your projects more often than you quit, so your actions start overruling self-defeating thoughts.
So how make sure you stick to more of your projects and habits
Make them feasible. Start small.
Write a couple of sentences in your journal every day.
Write short articles.
Walk for 5 minutes.
Do 2 minutes of breathing exercises.
In the long run, you’ll probably have to build up volume and intensity. But first, start small. Build trust of completion. Become disciplined.
#112 Chipping away at your skepticism
ByLukas
You don’t have to believe you can do, be or achieve something today.
But you must trust there’s always a tiny daily action, fairly easy to take, that goes against your disbelief.
A tiny daily trusty builder, repeated every day, that chips away at your skepticism and plants a seed of self-trust in your brain: “Maybe I CAN change”?
Then one day, you wake up and you believe: I can be whoever I choose to be.