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    #106 Pick your freedom battles

    Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

    They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

    To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

    To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

    To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

    To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

    Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

    Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

    Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

    Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Pick your freedom battles.

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    #58 Pre-verbal

    There used to be a time when you didn’t have words for your feelings. You just felt them.

    You didn’t have words to say that your parents are your parents. You just knew it.

    You didn’t have words for the sounds other humans made. Like singing birds, a buzzing bumblebee, or a rolling thunder, it was all just vibrating air.

    What was your experience of reality like before words started categorizing, abstracting and limiting what you could see, hear, touch and feel?

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