#22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

ByLukas
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One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

  1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
  2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
  3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
  4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

Which begs the question:

  • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
  • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #124 Deliberate Memories, Accurate Intuition

    ByLukas

    A memory is what we decide to remember from an experience – and what we decide to delete and forget.

    Intuition is the instant hunch we get after we’ve repeatedly created memories from experiences; the moment we don’t need the conscious memory anymore.

    A small (or unrepresentative) sample size leads to inaccurate intuition.

    If I’m betrayed three times in my life and have created strong memories around that, my intuition whenever meeting anyone else may be that they’ll betray me too. Three bad experiences have shaped, and skewed, my relationship to billions of others.

    How to develop accurate intuition?

    The more memories we create, the bigger the “sample size” for our intuition to emerge from, and the smaller the weight of “outlier events” (like being betrayed).

    The more deliberately we create these memories, the more deliberately we hone intuition.

    Create more memories. And create them deliberately.

  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    ByLukas

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

  • #370 Skipping the writing is not an option

    ByLukas

    Once you’ve been writing daily for long enough, continuing to write is the easier option, more aligned with your habits and identity.

    Just like for most people, it feels more natural to continue brushing their teeth every day than to skip a day.

    But when you’re still building the writing habit, skipping the writing is the easier option.

    Which means it shouldn’t be an option at all — until it has become an option you’re not interested in anymore.

  • |

    #181 You’re never done

    ByLukas

    You can labor for years on a business with little results until suddenly it blows up.

    Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey until the next big jump.

    You’re never done building your business.

    You can practice a yoga pose for months with little results until suddenly your body understands, and you’re able to perform it.

    Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey of discovery.

    You’re never done practicing yoga.

    You can practice a language for months without being able to string together any sentences until suddenly, your brain understands, and you’re able to speak with ease.

    Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you’ll continue your language-learning journey.

    You’re never done learning a language.

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