#56 Action, traction, distraction

ByLukas
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At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #221 How to appease the worrier mind

    ByLukas

    How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
    And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
    Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
    Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
    Should you be worrying at all?
    If not, could you stop right away?

    Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

    Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

    Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

    Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

    Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

    Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

    But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

    So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

    Let me know how it goes.

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    #211 If you can do that, you can also do this

    ByLukas

    No one is bad at sticking to habits.

    Because everyone’s day-to-day life is stitched together with recurring activities anyway, whether you consciously choose to do them or not.

    Maybe you brush your teeth every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you wash your hands before every meal – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you shower every morning right after waking up – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you write every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you practice yoga three times a week – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you spend 10 minutes daily catching up with family, friends, acquaintances, or relatives you haven’t seen in a while – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Habits are habits.

    And that has an interesting consequence:

    If you can do that, you can also do this.

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    #294 The true purpose of goals

    ByLukas

    Goals make you write every day and enjoy the process, even if you’ll never publish a book.

    Goals make you practice yoga and get to know your body, even if you’ll never be able to be in that ultimate pose.

    Goals makes you help someone and learn to give and contribute, even if your help ultimately doesn’t get them to the place they wanted to go.

    Goals don’t predict outcomes. Because the purpose of a goal is not to achieve it, but to set the direction of your life.

    It gives you the fuel to start taking action, and the guidance to make sure that action is intentional.

    I don’t know about you, my friend, but to me, that’s a fulfilling thought.

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    #180 Progressive Insight

    ByLukas

    Performance gap: the frustrating gap between how you know something should be done in an ideal world and how you currently do it. 

    One implication of the performance gap: you don’t have to master this skill today.

    Another implication, maybe even more important: your idea of how something “should be done” is probably wrong anyway.

    Because as you practice and gain mastery, you’ll also gain progressive insight: a more nuanced intellectual understanding of the skill you’re practicing.

    What I thought was a “good” yoga session six months ago, I now see as a session full of misalignment and cramped muscles.

    What I thought of as a solid piece of writing six months ago, I now see as an argument full of holes and points of improvement.

    Sometimes, progressive insight is just about more nuances.

    Sometimes, progressive insight shows that your initial intellectual understanding completely missed the mark.

    There’s only one way to find out: practice: Sculpt away, day by day. 

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