#56 Action, traction, distraction

ByLukas
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At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #139 Habit Milestones

    ByLukas

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

  • #4 When the best story in the world has already been written…

    ByLukas

    When the best story in the world has already been written… why do I write?

    Because writing is not a choice – and neither is telling stories.

    Because stories are never finished.

    Because the best stories in the world are written over and over again.

    Because a story well-told depends on who you’re telling it to.

    Because we all tell the same stories anyway, but that one little change, that one new interpretation can make the difference between touching someone or missing the mark.

    But what IS the best story in the world?

    I don’t know.

    I do know they don’t have to be very elaborate to have impact:

    For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

    Ernest Hemingway

    When someone, sometime, stumbled upon six words that can evoke so much… How can I NOT continue my own search for stories and the words to tell them?

    P.S.: Credits to Jony Mitchell for writing the best song in the world.

    P.P.S: Extra credits for singing the most heartfelt version even after suffering a stroke and having to relearn to talk and sing.

    P.P.P.S.: Credits to The Tallest Man on Earth for showing that a new interpretation can make even the best song in the world reach new heights, and providing the inspiration for this post.

  • | |

    #82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults

    ByLukas

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.

    Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.

    Where else could I use a new default?

    Choice inflection.

  • #5 How did I ever let that stop me?

    ByLukas

    The other day you asked about my favorite words.

    But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

    Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

    Consider this one:

    “Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

    This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

    • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
    • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
    • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

    And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

    “Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

    Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

    “What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

    How would I feel about myself…

    How would I look at myself?

    What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

    Which obstacles would I have conquered?

    Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

    And just like that, with my imagination set free

    internal resistance melting away

    off I go

    finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

    P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

    Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

    • Because it helps me slow down.
    • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
    • Because I feel calm after writing them.
    • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
    • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

    P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

    Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

  • #319 Starting silly small

    ByLukas

    Start small.

    Very small.

    So small, it might feel silly at first.

    For example, if you’ve committed to writing every day, don’t start by aiming to write a thousand words. Start with something you can absolutely, positively achieve.

    Maybe that’s writing one sentence. Maybe it’s opening your notebook. Maybe it’s just holding a pen!

    Your goal isn’t to produce fantastic prose, but simply to show up and write something.

    After all, before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

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