#56 Action, traction, distraction

ByLukas
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At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #93 Second-Hand Memories and Trust Issues

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    Memory stores the lessons we extract from learn life experience. And to do so, it relies, modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    What about second-hand memories? Accounts of past events we didn’t experience ourselves, wars, volcano eruptions, scientific discoveries,…

    For knowledge to accumulate, to stand on the shoulders of giants, we need to transmit such lessons too. Not just as data or accounts of the past – also as memories.

    But transmitting second-hand memories require trust.

    Can we rely on the interpretation of others?

    Who do we allow to control the narrative?

    Parents? Elders? Teachers? Governments and politicians?

    YouTubers? Influencers? Bloggers? Twitter gurus?

    AI models and chatbots?

    Objective data doesn’t exist. Objective memories don’t exist either. So if we can’t trust second-hand memories anymore, collective memory and our whole learning model collapses.

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    #35 Why time speeds up and the world become blurry

    ByLukas

    The first hour after I was born, 60 minutes encapsulated my entire life outside the womb.

    An hour is an eternity.

    When I celebrated my first trip around the sun, one year encapsulated my entire life outside the womb.

    An hour is not that long anymore. But a year… that’s an eternity.

    When I’ll celebrate my 30th birthday next year, one year encapsulates about 1/30th of my experience in this body here on earth.

    A year is not that long anymore. But 30 years… that’s an eternity.

    Lukas Van Vyve

    There’s an absolute, immutable version of time, and then there’s our felt interpretation, which speeds up with every passing moment because we compare it to all the “time we’ve lived so far”.

    Maybe that’s why the older we get, the more effort it takes to stay in the present moment?

    Because, unlike a newborn child, for whom, compared to its short lifespan, an hour is an eternity, and every second is an opportunity to discover, drink in the world, explore…

    We’ve lived so many hours, minutes, and seconds that we don’t care anymore.

    with every passing year
    i’m more in a hurry
    and the days, minutes, seconds
    become ever more blurry

    i can live fast and miss out
    or slow down
    listen, look around
    be here, right now
    let the world whisper loud
    what life is all about

    and at last
    i hear you again.

    Lukas Van Vyve

  • #320 Before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

    ByLukas

    Before it can be about good writing, it must be about consistent writing.

    Before it can be about running PRs, it must be about running consistently.

    Before it can be about , it must be about being in that yoga pose in the first place.

    Before it can be about fulfilment, it must be about doing something that fulfills you in the first place.

    Before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.

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    #189 Cling and let go

    ByLukas

    If I want to act differently, I let go of the past.

    If I want to act the same way I always did, I cling to the past.

    Both clinging and letting go have their place.

    I could cling to a habit of eating healthily, or treating others with kindness.

    But maybe I could let go of a habit of self-criticism.

    What benefits me? What benefits others?

    What harms me? What harms others?

    Who do I want to be?

  • |

    #172 The pursuit of failure

    ByLukas

    I can’t just say, “today, I’m going to be excellent at writing.”

    Excellence is an outcome: a result of focused daily actions.

    And one of the fastest ways to excellence is the pursuit of failure.

    Not just making accidental mistakes but actively seeking them out.

    Did I write nonsense today? Did I understand why I was writing nonsense? Have I learned something from writing that nonsense that will help me write something less nonsensical tomorrow?

    The pursuit of failure is painful, especially for perfectionists like me.

    But once ego, perfectionism, and the fear of failure make way for a commitment to the process, there’s much to learn from daily mistakes.

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    #29 The myth of self-sabotage

    ByLukas

    All behavior is inspired by avoiding pain or gaining pleasure – and since you usually act on what your brain perceives as the most intense of the two.

    So if you think you desire something, but then “sabotage” yourself so you never get what you desire, that means you have mixed feelings about desire (and thus inner conflict): deep down, you feel that desire will give you more pain than pleasure.

    In other words, it’s not self-sabotage: it’s your brain protecting you from pain it perceives as stronger than the pleasure you might get from reaching your goal.

    Maybe you desire more money, but deep down, you feel money will corrupt you, or make you lose friends, make you feel guilty, or make you lose your drive.

    Maybe you have a desire to write or create, but you feel the pain of judgment or rejection is stronger than the pleasure of creating.

    Maybe you want to get in shape, but deep down, you feel you’ll give up anyway before reaching any meaningful results, so you’d rather save yourself the pain of future disappointment (a classic self-trust problem).

    Maybe you notice a certain destructive pattern in your relationships, but you believe going to therapy and “opening up that can of worms” will be even worse than perpetuating the current situation.

    If you keep sabotaging yourself, it might be worth to ask yourself the question: what pain am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? In my imagination, what’s going to happen when I reach my goal; both positive AND negative?

    Or even better than just asking: journal about it.

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