#242 The accomplishments that slipped away

Only when you stop worrying about whether you’re a good writer do you have a shot at being a writer.

Only when you stop worrying about whether you’re a good friend, you have a shot at having true friendship.

Only when the worries stop, does the potential show up.

Wanting to improve certain areas in your life is powerful.

But that improvement gap comes with a pressure trap.

Because if you believe you’re in control of your actions, the moments you accidentally fall back into old patterns become extra frustrating.

When your self-worth becomes attached to your behavior, every action becomes a judgment of character.

And so the pressure mounts.

Missing one workout means you’re not worthy of running a marathon.

Missing one day of writing means you’ll never be a writer.

Making one communication mistake, making someone angry, means you’re a terrible person.

—

To make that pressure bearable, build self-trust (for example, through Tiny Trust Builders).

Trust that you can run a marathon, even if you miss a workout.

Trust that you can be a writer, even if you miss one day of writing.

Trust that you can be a good person, even if you’ve made mistakes or upset some people.

—

Notice the improvement gap between where you are and where you want to go.

Let the majority of your actions be a vote for the person you want to be.

Focus on elastic discipline, not hardliner habits.

Do all that, and you’ll feel more fulfilled and free.

You can write consistently without ever becoming skilled at writing.

But it’s hard to become skilled at writing without ever writing consistently.

Skill shouldn’t be ignored. But consistency can’t be ignored.