Be fulfilled with what you do (and be happy with what you don’t do).
Be intentional with what you do.
Be consistent with what you do.
Because what you do will change you.
And when you change, you might just get everything you ever wanted.
And you might just become happy with what you have.
You can labor for years on a business with little results until suddenly it blows up.
Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey until the next big jump.
You’re never done building your business.
You can practice a yoga pose for months with little results until suddenly your body understands, and you’re able to perform it.
Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you continue your journey of discovery.
You’re never done practicing yoga.
You can practice a language for months without being able to string together any sentences until suddenly, your brain understands, and you’re able to speak with ease.
Then after enjoying your breakthrough, you’ll continue your language-learning journey.
You’re never done learning a language.
Habit-building isn’t about striving for “the perfect day.”
It’s about making sure that even on the imperfect day when nothing goes your way, you still do enough things that fulfill you.
It’s about making the hard things easier.
And it’s about stacking the deck in your favor and making it inevitable to do things that align with who you want to be.
The purpose of goals is not achieving them.
It’s giving direction to your current actions.
And that’s what makes them different from a dreams.
Now. If goals give direction to current actions…
And current actions overrule your current beliefs and shape your identity…
Then goals shape who you are today, tomorrow, and who you’ll be long after achieving them.
The achievement is fleeting, the personality change lasting.
Choose wisely.
What you used to have was okay – and probably enough.
What you have today is okay – and probably enough.
What you’ll have tomorrow will be okay – and probably enough.
You can believe you didn’t always have everything you needed – but don’t be a prisoner of your past.
You can always believe you deserve more – but don’t be a prisoner of your dreams.
when the cracks in my faux finish
finally appear
my mind screams out
you’re coming too nearyet i resist the need to hide
lean in to the fear
let the cracks grow wide
because after all these years
slowly steadily submerged under layers of snow
frozen frightened i don’t know where else to goi feel i’m sliding back into my head
but you don’t let me
instead
you keep me here
make even more light appear
look at the fear
until the icy flawed frozen faux finish finally fully melts away
into a trembling torrent of tearsand through the sobs
subtle shining light teardrops
mix mingle mend my mind
my heart my soul a warmth so kindyou guide my gaze and through the tears
in my eyes a rainbow appears
eclipsing the fear
making it clear
that when I dare to feel complete
allow your heart and mine to meeti finally remember
that I’m enough
i’ve always beenand at last
Lukas Van Vyve
i can be seen
If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?
If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?
If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?
There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”
After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.
But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:
Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.
This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.
So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.
Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.
After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?
Skip a day, then start again.
Build self-trust.
Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.
Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.
