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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #182 Uncertain future visions

    I can say I want to run a marathon, write a book, or have a successful career – which doesn’t mean I’ll actually end up running a marathon, writing a book, or having a successful career.

    But if I’m serious about it, it does mean I’ll take daily steps towards that goal – daily actions that will change my identity.

    Can I live with the present-day implications of my uncertain future visions?

    If I don’t know yet if I’ll ever write the book – will these daily actions still be fulfilling to me?

    Will they make me happier?

    Will I be happy with the person I become by taking such daily actions?

    Do these daily actions contribute to a fulfilling emotional, mental, physical, and social life?

    If not, am I willing to make emotional, mental, physical, or social sacrifices?

    This is a choice everyone makes for themselves.

    But I don’t want to make my present day miserable for an uncertain vision of the future I don’t even know will happen.

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    #220 A reminder to decide

    I could decide that writing less than 1000 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.

    I could decide that writing more than 50 words a day would be a failure – and I would be correct.

    I could decide that not writing today would be failure – and I would be correct.

    After all, for many things in life, you get to decide yourself what’s failure and what’s success.

    In fact, my friend, just like me you may have already decided for yourself what’s failure and what’s success.

    And just like me, you may need a reminder of that decision once in a while, so you can verify if it still serves you.

    This is that reminder.

    Which serves me well, because my decision was that writing you this short daily letter is exactly right.

    See you tomorrow.

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