#98 The Socializing-Solitude Alternation

ByLukas
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Appreciation arises from contrast.

How can I enjoy food without knowing what it’s like to be hungry?

How can I appreciate the beauty of a painting without comparing it to something I’ve experienced as ugly?

How can I appreciate social connections without being familiar with solitude? (Not loneliness. Solitude.)

Constant connectivity (especially shallow connections through social media apps) without breaks from socializing numbs the whole bonding experience.

Alternating socializing with solitude warms the heart.

Inspired by Cal Newport’s excellent book Digital Minimalism.

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    #251 Opportunities in Disguise

    ByLukas

    Opportunities often stare us in the face in our daily interactions, routines, and familiar environments – and that guise of the ordinary makes them invisible.

    After all, seeing the value in something that comes so easily to you is hard.

    So it takes an outsider to point it out.

    What skill are you taking for granted even though it’s really pretty cool?

    What comes naturally to you but is hard for others to do?

    Which problems can you solve effortlessly? If you solve them for others, how would that set them free?

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    #85 Habit Containers

    ByLukas

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

  • #388 The one tiny thing you should do today

    ByLukas

    What’s one tiny thing you can do every day that proves to yourself that your goals are important to you?

    One tiny action you can take even on the worst days when you’re sick, your car breaks down, or you have a crazy busy day?

    One tiny action that, if done every day, will transform your identity?

    One Tiny Trust Builder that shows: “This is what I stand for, who I am, and who I want to be.”

    Decide on it. Stick to it. And as your self-trust grows… be happier for it.

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    #218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

    ByLukas

    The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

    Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

    That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

    Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

    Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

    Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

    Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?

    I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

    Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

    But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

    Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

    Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

    Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

  • |

    #192 Your desired identity

    ByLukas

    Who you are and what you do consistently always coincide. After all, your repeated actions create your identity.

    But who you want to be and what you consistently do don’t usually coincide. Otherwise, you would already have become who you want to be.

    You want to be a writer, but you’re not consistently writing? Writing consistently will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.

    You want to be a guitar player, but you’re not consistently playing the guitar? Practicing daily will bridge the gap between your current and desired identity.

    Could you make your actions coincide with your desired identity?

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