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  • #174 How to turn faith into trust

    You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.

    I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.

    I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.

    But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.

    I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.

    I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.

    There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:

    When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.

    Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.

    Trust you must.

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    #66 Scarcity is like pollution

    Some days I have ten ideas to write about. Some days, zero.

    But when I lack ideas to write about, the ideas aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from accessing the insights.

    When I feel lonely, friends and family I can connect with aren’t really gone. I’m in a scarcity state: my brain chemistry prevents me from connecting with them.

    Scarcity is like pollution.

    When noise pollution of cars, planes and construction machines drown out the singing of the birds, the birds aren’t really gone. I just can’t hear them.

    When light pollution drowns out the stars, they’re not really gone. I just can’t see them.

    So how do I get out of scarcity? How do I reduce pollution?

    Here’s what works for me:

    Notice I’m in scarcity mode. Then move. Meditate. Do stream-of-consciousness journaling.

    Then find a place where I hear the birds.
    Find a place where I can see the stars.
    Write anyway.
    And connect with friends and family anyway.

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    #106 Pick your freedom battles

    Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

    They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

    To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

    To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

    To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

    To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

    Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

    Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

    Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

    Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Pick your freedom battles.

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