#89 Don’t get it backwards

ByLukas
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I’m not writing because I can’t write?
I’m not playing the guitar because I’m bad at music?
I’m not learning a language because I’m bad at learning languages?

That’s the world on its head.

The truth is: you can’t write because you’re not writing.
You can’t play the guitar because you’re not playing the guitar.
You can’t speak the language because you’re not learning the language.

If you would write every day, cognitive dissonance starts doing its work. Your actions will overrule your thoughts and beliefs.

And every day you write, you’re becoming a writer.

Every day you play the guitar, you’re becoming a guitar player.

Every day you learn a language, you’re becoming a language learner.

The only reason you can’t do it because you’re not doing it.

Don’t get it backwards.

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    #106 Pick your freedom battles

    ByLukas

    Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

    They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

    To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

    To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

    To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

    To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

    Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

    Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

    Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

    Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Pick your freedom battles.

  • #345 Why being good isn’t relevant

    ByLukas

    People can think you’re not good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    You can think you’re not good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    You can think you’ll never be good at writing, and you can still write – and love it.

    Because whether you’re good at something or not is nowhere nearly as relevant as how fulfilled it makes you feel.

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    #188 Predictable pathways

    ByLukas

    Eating junk food for dinner. Because that’s what you always did.

    Having home-grown vegetables for lunch. Because that’s what you always did.

    Scrolling through social media apps for 20 minutes. Because that’s what you always did.

    Meditating for 20 minutes every morning. Because that’s what you always did.

    Working 15-hour days. Because that’s what you always did.

    Taking the time to relax, let the mind wander, and be with family. Because that’s what you always did.

    Our lives are full of predictable pathways, paved and reinforced by our past and present actions.

    But not all pathways are desirable.

    Luckily the past doesn’t equal the future.

    You can change your present actions to change the course of your pathway, away from a predictable future towards a desirable future.

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    #139 Habit Milestones

    ByLukas

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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