#82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults

ByLukas
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Once upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.

Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.

Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.

Where else could I use a new default?

Choice inflection.

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    #130 The perfect excuse

    ByLukas

    Perfectionism is the perfect excuse for not showing up.

    If you don’t publish because you’re waiting for the perfect blog post, you’ll hide behind your desk forever – because there’ll always be something you can improve.

    If you don’t go for a walk because you’re waiting for the perfect weather, you’ll be stuck forever inside – because there’ll always be a day with more sunshine or a nicer breeze.

    If you wait to live the life you desire until you have the perfect age, amount of money, degree, or partner, you’ll wait until it’s too late to enjoy your life in the first place.

    If you know things will never be perfect anyway, and you’re not allowed to wait until they’re perfect, or even until they’re “good enough”…

    What could you start doing today? What have you been putting off?

  • |

    #123 Never again

    ByLukas

    What gets you going – and what keeps you going?

    Pain. Pleasure. Usually, a combination of both.

    I like being disciplined – it gives me pleasure.

    I also know very well that I don’t want to go back to jumping from one project to another, giving up before reaching any meaningful level of skill or results, and ending up frustrated with myself – the thought alone is painful.

    The pain often gets you going, later to be joined by pleasure in a cocktail of motivation, discipline, and persistence.

    And in this case, strong emotions, passion, and yes, also pain, often lead to more leverage – if you allow yourself to see the lessons it can teach you.

    I never want to be that person again – which helped me figure out that I really want to be this person.

    Living your never again might well help you figure out your yes, for as long as I shall live.

  • | |

    #63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

    ByLukas

    Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

    I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

    Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

    Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

    I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

    You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

    We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

    We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #113 Make space

    ByLukas

    Actions overrule thoughts, and sometimes the best creative act – and the one requiring the most discipline – is doing nothing.

    Because when you slow down your pace, suddenly you realize: there’s space.

    There’s space for the thoughts and feelings you were so afraid to face.

    There’s space to redirect the energy you’ve misplaced.

    There’s space to rediscover everything that escaped your gaze while you were engaged in an endless rat race.

    There’s space for you to remember
    that before you learned not to listen
    and constant distraction erased every trace
    of the insights you so desperately chase
    there was a place of stillness
    a warm embrace
    where all the answers were right there, in your face

    Only when you’ve slowed down your mind’s pace
    you realize
    you were never out of place
    you were navigating a self-inflicted maze
    with only one way out:

    Make space.

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