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  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

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    #295 When dreaming is enough

    Do you really want to write a book? Or do you actually want to dream about writing a book?

    Do you really want to drop everything and move to a sea-side town? Or do you want to dream about dropping everything and move to a sea-side town?

    Both are fine. Both can be fulfilling, because often, having a dream is enough.

    But both are not the same.

    Only you will know if it’s the dream that makes you happy, or the action you want to take.

  • #378 Don’t negotiate yourself out of your dreams

    You usually make a plan in a moment of motivation and clear thinking, where everything seems possible.

    But you’ll have to execute the plan in a variety of situations, including harsh conditions.

    Remember this: difficult moments pass, just like easy moments.

    Every moment passes, but your plans and dreams will still be there.

    Don’t negotiate yourself out of your dreams based on a difficult moment.

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    #194 Satisfaction is an illusion

    We get hungry and look for food. Then we get hungry again.

    We get thirsty and look for water. Then we’re thirsty again.

    We want to create art and learn how to sing. Then we want to create more and learn how to draw.

    Full satisfaction with our life as it is is an illusion. Desire will always be there, even if we think we’ve reached all our goals.

    Without a gap between what we do and what we want to do, what we have and what we want, who we are and who we want to be, life becomes meaningless.

    With that knowledge, how can we still be fulfilled?

    The fulfillment formula may help:

    Regardless of outcomes and results, are the majority of your daily actions in alignment with your purpose, values, and the identity you want to forge?

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    #46 Feigned feelings

    feigned feelings lead to forced forging
    of a bond, brittle, easily broken

    but when i learn to listen
    to the winds whirling within
    stop seeing them as a sin

    when i hold them back no more
    forceful feelings finally roar
    revealing a hidden song
    sung secretly for so long

    my true self set free
    softly I breathe
    my melody into your mind
    feelings mingle, sometimes grind
    leaving the shyness far behind

    and hearing our songs entwined
    I am no longer blind
    to the insight
    that we’ve been singing the same song
    of a wordless world where we all belong

    at last I feel strong
    for we were always one
    blessed by a bond
    that can’t be undone

    Lukas Van Vyve

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