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  • #322 The naysayer in your head

    Whenever you set out to establish a new habit, there’s often a nagging thought at the back of your mind wondering, “When will you quit this time?”

    But the naysayer in your head that has had free reign for all these years can’t be silenced.

    They can only be proven wrong.

    “You expect me to quit? Watch me.”

    “Say whatever you want; I am showing up today.”

    Tiny Trust Builders, day after day, until the naysayer admits, “I was wrong. You’re not that person anymore.”

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    #241 Is this truly a catastrophe?

    What am I scared of right now?

    What are the chances that that scenario will come true?

    What would happen if that scenario came true?

    And what would happen then?

    And then?

    And then?

    Is it really that bad?

    Do I have the resources to deal with it?

    Is this truly a catastrophe, or will I be fine either way?


    Keep asking*, “What would happen then?”.* Look past the initial fears and challenges. And more often than not, you’ll realize that this too shall pass.

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    #85 Habit Containers

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

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    #134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

    You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

    But you CAN:

    • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
    • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

    What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

    What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

    What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

    Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

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    #94 Restoring Faith in the Malleable Mind

    It only takes one new habit to restore faith in the malleable mind.

    “I’ve never been good at languages. Until I learned my first foreign language. If I can do that… what else is possible?”

    “I’ve never been good at public speaking. Until I gave my first speech, and then my second, and then my twentieth. If I can do that… What else is possible?”

    I always give up on projects before I bring them to completion. Until I completed one project. Then another. Then another. If I can do that… What else is possible?

    If something I thought I could never do becomes possible, cracks start to appear in my limiting beliefs.

    It’s not just about the habits. It’s about the belief that you can change your habits, trust in your ability to complete projects and stick to your routine.

    And the only way to build that is through taking small daily actions that are votes for who you want to be (and what you want to achieve).

    Again: it only takes one new daily action to start restoring your belief in the malleable mind.

    Start with one. Then discover what else is possible.

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