#558 The fear of having to do without something
The fear of having to do without something
Is usually scarier than actually doing without the thing.
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#24 Put your actions where your mouth is
ByLukasHere’s a useful insight from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits:
Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.
https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/june-4-2020Writing every day reaffirms my “I’m a writer” identity.
Sitting on the couch every day reaffirms my “I’m a couch potato” identity.
As a consequence: when you change your actions and your identity starts shifting to align with those actions.
And that’s how we get out of a rut.
(The opposite isn’t always true: changing your thoughts without changing your actions will rarely shift your identity. I can think of being a writer as much as I want, if I never put any words on paper, I’m not a writer. That’s one of the principle of cognitive dissonance: Actions overrule Thoughts.)
Here’s how to change your actions and your identity:
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
“I want to be a yogi: someone who regularly practices yoga and takes care of his mind and body.” - Second you get clear on what that would look like in your daily life: which actions you’ll take that are different from the ones you’re taking right now.
“Instead of watching TV before, my “yogi identity” would do a daily yoga session. - Third, you gain enough leverage over yourself to go against your current habits, and take those different action for a prolonged period of time.
This is where most resistance comes up, because my old “couch potato identity” is fighting my “yogi” identity — and through my past actions, the couch potato has received WAY more votes than the yogi.
So you need perseverance at this stage. Remember, every time you take those new actions, you’re voting for your new identity and new habits are taking roots. - At some point, you reach a tipping point productivity experts call “habit escape velocity“: you now have so much momentum that you’re out of the sphere of influence of your old habits, and your new habits (and new identity) can take root.
Which begs the question…
Where are you saying you want to be a certain way, but you’re voting for something else through your daily actions?
Lukas Van VyvePut your money (or your actions) where your mouth is.
- First, you decide who you want to be (and what your new identity looks like).
#429 Use whatever it takes
ByLukasWillpower.
Habit.
Discipline.
Connection with your purpose.
Use whatever it takes to do what you know is important to you.
#329 The journey to overcoming self-doubt
ByLukasMy journey to overcoming self-doubt as a writer:
- I write every day, even when I didn’t feel inspired.
- I publish imperfect work every day, and saw nothing bad happened.
- I publish frequently to reduce the “burden of quality” on each piece (if I publish every day, it doesn’t matter if some posts don’t do so well, because I’ll post again tomorrow anyway.
In short: write and publish to overcome the fear of writing and publishing. Yes, it can be as simple as that.
#197 Reminders upon reminders upon reminders
ByLukasIntentional living is about reminding yourself of what’s most important to you.
Reminding yourself that you can choose to be a writer, a runner, a musician, an artist, or a bon vivant.
Reminding yourself that you can choose to be kind to others.
Reminding yourself that you have a choice to act differently.
Reminding yourself that the past does not equal the future.
Reminding yourself that this, too, shall pass.
Reminding yourself that at any given moment, whatever reminder you need the most, you likely won’t think of yourself.
Reminding yourself that for this reason, it’s OK to get help and let someone else remind you with short daily notes.
And me, reminding myself that the act of writing daily reminders for you is the reminder I need to remember that I do, in fact, choose to be consistent, and I choose to be a writer.
Reminders upon reminders upon reminders that we will constantly get distracted, and we will always have the choice to come back to what truly matters.
#478 You can always do what matters to you
ByLukasMaybe tomorrow will be same old, same old.
Maybe all will change.
It doesn’t matter.
Because come what may, whatever happens around you, you can always do what matters to you.
#135 Violence in a flower garden
ByLukasIt’s easy to be non-violent when you’re in a flower garden
Josh Waitzkin – The art of learningIt’s easy to be kind to others when the world has always been kind to you.
It’s easy to say you want to be a writer when you never really put yourself out there to prove it.
To learn writing, I must confront the uncomfortable parts of writing – and learn not to respond by running away from it.
To learn non-violence, I must confront violence – and learn not to respond with violence in return.
To learn kindness, I must confront being hurt – and learn not to use that as an excuse to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.
To build trust in myself, I must stay true to my values under difficult conditions.