#539 It doesn’t matter what I decide

A rough morning doesn’t mean a rough day – but it could.

A pleasant morning doesn’t mean a pleasant day – but it could.

Intentional living is about reminding yourself of what’s most important to you.

Reminding yourself that you can choose to be a writer, a runner, a musician, an artist, or a bon vivant.

Reminding yourself that you can choose to be kind to others.

Reminding yourself that you have a choice to act differently.

Reminding yourself that the past does not equal the future.

Reminding yourself that this, too, shall pass.

Reminding yourself that at any given moment, whatever reminder you need the most, you likely won’t think of yourself.

Reminding yourself that for this reason, it’s OK to get help and let someone else remind you with short daily notes.

And me, reminding myself that the act of writing daily reminders for you is the reminder I need to remember that I do, in fact, choose to be consistent, and I choose to be a writer.

Reminders upon reminders upon reminders that we will constantly get distracted, and we will always have the choice to come back to what truly matters.

What am I scared of right now?

What are the chances that that scenario will come true?

What would happen if that scenario came true?

And what would happen then?

And then?

And then?

Is it really that bad?

Do I have the resources to deal with it?

Is this truly a catastrophe, or will I be fine either way?

Keep asking*, “What would happen then?”.* Look past the initial fears and challenges. And more often than not, you’ll realize that this too shall pass.

Appreciation arises from contrast.

How can I enjoy food without knowing what it’s like to be hungry?

How can I appreciate the beauty of a painting without comparing it to something I’ve experienced as ugly?

How can I appreciate social connections without being familiar with solitude? (Not loneliness. Solitude.)

Constant connectivity (especially shallow connections through social media apps) without breaks from socializing numbs the whole bonding experience.

Alternating socializing with solitude warms the heart.

Inspired by Cal Newport’s excellent book Digital Minimalism.

Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

So I invite you to give it a try.

Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.