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    #194 Satisfaction is an illusion

    We get hungry and look for food. Then we get hungry again.

    We get thirsty and look for water. Then we’re thirsty again.

    We want to create art and learn how to sing. Then we want to create more and learn how to draw.

    Full satisfaction with our life as it is is an illusion. Desire will always be there, even if we think we’ve reached all our goals.

    Without a gap between what we do and what we want to do, what we have and what we want, who we are and who we want to be, life becomes meaningless.

    With that knowledge, how can we still be fulfilled?

    The fulfillment formula may help:

    Regardless of outcomes and results, are the majority of your daily actions in alignment with your purpose, values, and the identity you want to forge?

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    #235 Do I care? Should I care?

    I am inspired when I write, because I care about writing.
    I am disappointed when I don’t write, because I care about writing.

    I am delighted when there are no traffic jams, because I care about efficiency.
    I am frustrated when the train is delayed, because I care about efficiency.


    Strong emotions are the most honest answer to the question, “Do I care?”

    ”But should I care?” I hear you ask.

    Well, my friend, that’s a different question.

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    #129 When the going gets tough

    When I’m inspired, I write.

    When I’m over the moon, I write.

    When I’m frustrated, I write.

    When I’m sad, I write.

    When I’m angry, I write.

    When I’m so overwhelmed I don’t want to do anything at all, I write.

    Because when the tides of life get rough, a consistent practice is your life raft.


    Writing, running, yoga, music, walking, gardening, knitting, dancing, singing, surfing…

    You not only build trust in such habits and practices to achieve lofty goals but also – even more so – to fall back on when the going gets tough, and you need a beacon of stability to keep you afloat.

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    #252 The Identity is the Outcome

    The outcome is not the book.
    The outcome is not the marathon.
    The outcome is not the successful business.

    The outcome is not even the daily habit you form, even though they’re the stepping stones you need.

    The outcome is the embodiment of the changes we’ve internalized, the growth we’ve experienced, and the evolution we’ve undergone, allowing us to say, “This is what I now stand for. This is what I believe is possible.”

    The outcome is the identity.

    Maybe it’s less about “What do I want to achieve?” and more about “What do I want to believe?”

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    #82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.

    Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.

    Where else could I use a new default?

    Choice inflection.

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    #142 Overcalibration

    Giving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.

    Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.

    Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.

    Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.

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