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    #134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

    You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

    But you CAN:

    • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
    • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

    What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

    What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

    What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

    Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

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    #69 Evening Questions

    I like to journal in the morning.

    But if I’d journal in the evening, this is what I’d ask myself:

    “Were my actions today actions of the person I choose to be? Or were they actions of a person driven by old patterns, habits and limiting beliefs?”

    “Did my actions bring me closer to where I choose to go? Or did they keep me stuck in a place I really don’t want to be anymore?”

    “Did my actions make me feel good about myself? Or did they make me resent myself?”

    What can I do differently tomorrow?

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    #114 Tiny Trust Builders

    Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).

    Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.

    There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.

    I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.

    I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.

    I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.

    Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.

    Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.

    So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.

    The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.

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    #186 The hour of misery

    Not all tasks and activities we must do feel fulfilling or rewarding. There’s no way out of busy work.

    But we can avoid prioritizing and attracting it to the expense of work that matters.

    Enter the hour of misery.

    One hour of busy work and chores a day.

    60 minutes. Not more. But also not less.

    If, after 60 minutes of misery, you feel like you should do much more, it’s time to realign priorities.

    Delegate.

    OR come to terms with the fact that you’ll never finish the pile of busy work tasks – then carry on with the important stuff anyway.

    After all, tomorrow’s another day.

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    #103 Show me one daily action

    So you say you want to be a writer?
    Show me one daily action that proves that’s true.

    So you say you value connection with family and friends?
    Show me one daily action that demonstrates you do.

    So you say you want to learn a foreign language?
    Show me one daily action. Show me you’ll follow through.

    Show me one daily action. Not for me. But for you.

    For you to start believing you care.

    That your dreams and desires aren’t just castles in the air.

    That you dare to build an identity that supports your values and aspirations.

    Because actions overrule thoughts.

    Actions form (or break) beliefs.

    Actions aligned with your values build trust in your good intentions, and change your identity.

    One action a day. That’s all it takes.

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #82 Choice Inflection and New Defaults

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to brush my teeth every day, until brushing my teeth became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT brushing my teeth.

    Once upon a time, during a pandemic, we consciously chose to wear face masks, until wearing face masks became the new default. Then the conscious choice we had to make was NOT wearing the face mask anymore.

    Once upon a time, I consciously chose to write every day, until writing became my new default. Now the conscious choice I have to make is NOT writing.

    Where else could I use a new default?

    Choice inflection.

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