#533 How to become good at anything

With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

Why is this important to you?

What do you stand to gain?

Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

(❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

Bottom line:

Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

It’s not a masterpiece.

It’s not a love song.

It’s not a poem.

Make it not about what you create but about the very fact that you’re creating.

Ugly, pretty, insightful, bland. It doesn’t matter. Just externalize your mind’s chatter.

Most habits are hard to stick to because they promise not only a positive lifestyle change but also instant results.

But worrying about building a habit and getting results at the same time leads to frustration and, ultimately, failure – after all, when building a habit, showing up every day is already hard enough.

First, you must learn to trust that you can show up every day, even if you don’t see improvement right away.

Only then do you get a shot at getting results.

The key is in the power of tiny actions, consistently taken.