#495 You just are…

One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

Which begs the question:

• How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
• How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

Giving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.

Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.

Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.

Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.

I can choose to procrastinate on a project for weeks – then finish it all in one go, right before the deadline.

In absolute terms, I might have been very efficient with my time – but the time I saved, I spent frustrated with myself.

The long-term effect on my self-image: I’m a procrastinator.

What if I work a little bit on a project every single day – and have it finished well before the deadline?

I might spend more time in total – but every day, every moment spent makes me feel good about myself.

The long-term effect on my self-image: I cultivate an identity of discipline and consistency. I do what I believe to be good for me. I build character. Taking small daily actions towards a goal becomes part of my identity.

What’s more: I avoid the frustration and resentment that comes with procrastination (=not doing what I know I should be doing), and feel good about myself instead.

Long-term, the benefits of small daily actions always outweigh huge last-minute efforts.