#476 What do you stand to lose and gain?
How painful is it not to do what you secretly know is good for you? What do you stand to lose?
How amazing does it feel to do what you secretly know is good for you? What do you stand to gain?
How painful is it not to do what you secretly know is good for you? What do you stand to lose?
How amazing does it feel to do what you secretly know is good for you? What do you stand to gain?
If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.
My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.
Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?
I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.
Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.
Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.
But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.
Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.
First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.
In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.
First I envision a future me. Who do I want to be?
Then every single day, every single moment, I choose to take actions that turn me into that person I want to be.
If I don’t consciously choose my actions in the present moment that contribute to my vision, and I’m led by old unconscious patterns, beliefs, and habits instead, my visions will remain imaginary.
And if I never take the time to envision who I want to be, how do I know which actions to choose?
First envision what you want. Then choose to make it happen.
At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.
If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.
Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?
I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.
I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.
And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)
If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.
The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.
Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.
You’ll meet the writer you already are when you start writing.
You’ll discover the writer you could be when you start writing.
And you’ll discover the person you could be when you start finding out what you could do.
The scientific revolution has left a god-shaped hole in our heart
but where do we find purpose, when we think we are so smart?with all our might
we try to unhide
what’s out of sightwe fight to forge a light as bright
as the one that once brought lifewithout knowing the path that’s right
we rush to reach new heights
in spite
of the world we feel insideuntil the wind brings a storm
the earth shakes
shatters our home
rivers overflow
fire burns our flesh
then where do we go?when we know that with every ploy
to make the world adhere
we also destroy
what we hold dearwith actions this flawed
Lukas Van Vyve
can we really pretend we are god
or are we all
just animal?
Walk for 5 minutes today? That’s excellent – because you walked.
Meditated for 1 min? That’s perfect – because you meditated.
Wrote and published a 50-word blog post? That’s enough – because you wrote and published.
You’re allowe dto
Positive reinforcement through Tiny Trust Builders is all you need.