Try to hold me back. Put obstacles in my way. Do whatever you want. But this new habit is here to stay.
Good things happen when you say those words to the world.
Even better things happen when you say those exact same words to yourself.
Eating junk food for dinner. Because that’s what you always did.
Having home-grown vegetables for lunch. Because that’s what you always did.
Scrolling through social media apps for 20 minutes. Because that’s what you always did.
Meditating for 20 minutes every morning. Because that’s what you always did.
Working 15-hour days. Because that’s what you always did.
Taking the time to relax, let the mind wander, and be with family. Because that’s what you always did.
Our lives are full of predictable pathways, paved and reinforced by our past and present actions.
But not all pathways are desirable.
Luckily the past doesn’t equal the future.
You can change your present actions to change the course of your pathway, away from a predictable future towards a desirable future.
Playing the guitar hasn’t taught me to move my hands and fingers across strings. It has taught me to persevere whenever I’m failing over and over again until suddenly, it all clicks and the words, music, or movements flow.
Yoga hasn’t taught me to put my body in awkward poses. It has taught me to be aware of – and release – the tension in my body whenever I sit, walk, stand, and run.
Taking cold showers hasn’t taught me to withstand cold water. It has taught me to know to relax whenever my body tenses up in stress and my heart starts racing.
Learning a foreign language hasn’t taught me to say the same things with different words. It has taught me that there are different ways of perceiving the wordless world around me, and expressing what I feel inside.
When we isolate insights, most of the learning is lost on us.
Learn thematically. Ask yourself, “Where else does this apply?”
Nobody says you have to be a workaholic to be ambitious.
Because ambition means nothing more than having a strong desire to succeed.
You can desire to succeed in getting a promotion, or writing a bestselling book.
Or you can desire to succeed in working only part-time, and spend the rest of the time with your family.
You’re free to decide for yourself what to be ambitious about.
Elon Musk has the rock-solid belief that someday, he’s going to put people on Mars. He doesn’t hope for it. He believes it’s inevitable.
Whether his belief becomes a reality or not is irrelevant. What matters are the actions and grit his faith inspires in him and everyone working with him.
That’s the rock-solid determination extraordinary feats are built on.
But you don’t have to dream of interplanetary travel to reach stellar levels of determination.
What would you do if writing a new book isn’t just optional or desirable but inevitable?
What would you do if mastering an instrument isn’t just possible but inescapable?
What happens when, in your mind, you turn a dream into a certainty?
How does that change your actions? Mindset? Beliefs? Feelings?
How much easier does it become to persevere?
An aspiring writer who doesn’t believe writing is a valuable skill in our current society and focuses on building a traditional career instead.
An aspiring runner who doesn’t believe running is a good use of their time in our current society and goes out for drinks every night.
An aspiring classical musician who doesn’t believe society will ever appreciate their art – and goes into pop music instead.
If you want to turn aspirations into achievements, you’ll have to decide for yourself what’s valuable, even if it goes against what society and tradition prescribe.
So to make writing a valuable skill, write.
To make running a good use of your time, run.
To make the world appreciate your classical music, practice classical music.
To make anything worthwhile, show that it’s worth your while.
Because going against the mainstream is not just necessary to achieve your aspirations – it’s what makes your aspirations valuable in the first place.
You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.
You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.
You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.
Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.
Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.
But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.
So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.
And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.
Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.
