What would you like to become good at?
Why do you want to become good at this? Passion? Purpose? Impressing others?
Are you willing to spend a lot of time to become good at this?
Are you willing to give up other things to become good at this?
Are you making life harder for yourself by trying to become good at this?
Is that worth it?
…
The question that rules them all:
How easy was it to answer the questions above?
I can say I want to publish a new book.
Double my income.
Get in shape.
Learn another language.
But hidden beneath the surface of lofty goals are daily actions.
Publishing a book… What does that really mean?
Who is that person who has published the book? (Not just written… actually published?)
What do they say to themselves?
What do they think?
What do they feel?
What do they do every day? And what can I start doing every day to become more of that person who has written that book?
Most importantly, am I willing to take those actions every day to reach whatever goal I’m after?
Am I willing to change?
If not, is that goal even important to me?
Who do I choose to be?
You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.
But you CAN:
What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?
What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?
What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?
Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.
You’ll heal in due time.
You’ll succeed in due time.
Everything will happen in due time.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to decide what due time is.
You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.
I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.
I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.
But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.
I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.
I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.
There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:
When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.
Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.
Perfect recall is paralyzing.
Not everything is worth remembering.
And life isn’t better when you’re a bad forgetter.
Maybe life becomes easier to navigate if we remember the fact that we’ll always make mistakes – and the lessons we learn from them – yet forget (forgive) the specific slip-ups we and others make.
One question to make distractions fall away and make the mind turn quiet:
What’s most important right this very second?
Not today. Not this week. Right this very second.
