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    #60 Memory is context

    Memory is context – in language and in general.

    Context of words surrounded by other words and sounds within a sentence.

    • apple orchard

    Context of words surrounded by actions – actor, action, object affected (in whatever way or order your mother tongue expresses it).

    • I pick an apple from the tree.

    Context of words and the images they spur.

    • An apple falls on Newton’ head.
    • An apple falls off a tree in my grandparents’ garden.
    • I bite into a green apple – a bit sour. I don’t like it.
    • The first time I combine an apple part with peanut butter. Delicious.

    Context of words and the feelings they evoke.

    • I’m thirsty and hungry after a volleyball game. The first bite of an apple – what a relief.
    • My grandpa cuts an apple and gives me a part. Safety. Home.
    • I eat 2 apples and my mouth starts itching. Allergy? Fear.

    When learning another language, you can link words to the context of your mother tongue.

    But to truly understand them, you’ll have to create a new context too.

    For example, an apple in Spanish: una manzana.

    Seemingly the same object, now perceived through new sounds.

    • huerto de manzanas (apple orchard)

    New actions.

    • Yo limpio una manzana. (I wash/clean an apple.)

    New images.

    • I see una manzana in a Mexican supermarket. Someone is polishing it with wax to make it extra shiny. The first time I saw was in Mexico. So I didn’t see the guy polishing an apple. Vi a un hombre encerando una manzana. (I saw a guy putting wax on an apple.)

    New feelings.

    • Compré una manzana (I bought an apple) and ate it without washing it well. My stomach wasn’t happy with my actions.

    Keeping all that in mind, are we really still talking about the same object? Is the Spanish manzana encerada that made me sick in Spanish the same as the apple my grandpa helped me pick? If it is, do I now have a richer perception of that object that once up on a time, I could only interact with through the limits of one language?

    Learning vocabulary lists with isolated words will never get you fluent in a foreign language.

    If you don’t build a new context of sounds, actions, images, feelings, you’ll always keep imposing your mother tongue on the foreign language.

    That’s why you can’t just learn a foreign language. You have to live it.

  • #298 Setting yourself up for success

    You can choose what success in your life looks like.

    And if you make your daily successes achievable enough so you feel successful every day, guess what: you’re a successful person now.

    There’s a reason it’s called Tiny Trust Builders, not massive out-of-reach Trust Builders.

    So celebrate that one-minute workout you did.
    That one sentence you wrote today.
    That one new word you learned in a new language.
    That one time you didn’t give in to cravings.

    Because daily Tiny Trust Builders create massive momentum and massive self-trust.

    And I don’t know about you, my friend, but I’d rather feel successful every day than like a failure because those good feelings will carry over in all other aspirations and relationships.

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    #182 Uncertain future visions

    I can say I want to run a marathon, write a book, or have a successful career – which doesn’t mean I’ll actually end up running a marathon, writing a book, or having a successful career.

    But if I’m serious about it, it does mean I’ll take daily steps towards that goal – daily actions that will change my identity.

    Can I live with the present-day implications of my uncertain future visions?

    If I don’t know yet if I’ll ever write the book – will these daily actions still be fulfilling to me?

    Will they make me happier?

    Will I be happy with the person I become by taking such daily actions?

    Do these daily actions contribute to a fulfilling emotional, mental, physical, and social life?

    If not, am I willing to make emotional, mental, physical, or social sacrifices?

    This is a choice everyone makes for themselves.

    But I don’t want to make my present day miserable for an uncertain vision of the future I don’t even know will happen.

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    #232 You’ll know when it’s time

    First, you write. Then you become a writer.

    First, you run. Then you become a runner.

    First, you set boundaries. Then you become good at setting boundaries.


    But before all that comes the decision to write. To run. To set boundaries.

    Because you’re dissatisfied with the past and say never again.

    Because you’re filled with excitement about a future vision.

    Because you know you’re ready to make the change.

    You’ll know when it’s time, my friend.

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