#11 fixing a flawed faux finish

ByLukas
|

when the cracks in my faux finish
finally appear
my mind screams out
you’re coming too near

yet i resist the need to hide
lean in to the fear
let the cracks grow wide
because after all these years
slowly steadily submerged under layers of snow
frozen frightened i don’t know where else to go

i feel i’m sliding back into my head
but you don’t let me
instead
you keep me here
make even more light appear
look at the fear
until the icy flawed frozen faux finish finally fully melts away
into a trembling torrent of tears

and through the sobs
subtle shining light teardrops
mix mingle mend my mind
my heart my soul a warmth so kind

you guide my gaze and through the tears
in my eyes a rainbow appears
eclipsing the fear
making it clear
that when I dare to feel complete
allow your heart and mine to meet

i finally remember
that I’m enough
i’ve always been

and at last
i can be seen

Lukas Van Vyve

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    Create something or not. Today is still happening.

    Learn something or not. Today is still happening.

    Relax or not. Today is still happening.

    Spend time with your loved ones or not. Today is still happening.

    No matter how you feel, no matter what you do, today is still happening.

    That may be scary, defeating, or motivating. But today is still happening.

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    #227 Could a changed past set me free?

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    Which conclusions did I draw from past experiences?

    Have I overreacted to petty events, and ignored beautiful moments?

    Have I deleted memories? Maybe invented some?

    Have I built stories based on generalizations?

    Most importantly: how does the past I still feel affect my actions today?

    And if I know a lot of it was my own interpretation… could I change my past, or at least what it means to me?

    Would that set me free?

    I was undoubtedly in a pensive mood when writing this.

    I guess, given the daily letters I send you, you might conclude I’m in a pensive mood every day.

    And you wouldn’t be wrong.

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  • #387 We all need to be saved from ourselves

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    We all have the ability to decide what’s good for us when we take the time to reflect on it.

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    By deciding in advance.

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    #100 There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

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    The moment you stop doing things for what they can give you, and start doing things for who you become through doing them, is the moment you get everything you ever wanted.

    Lukas Van Vyve

    I don’t write a blog post every day just to have a pile of posts on the blog.

    I write because writing is what makes me a writer. And I enjoy being a writer very much.

    The blog posts are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    I don’t practice Stream Of Consciousness journaling every day to write beautiful prose, poems or have amazing insights.

    I do it because it calms the mind. Because my life is better with it than without.

    And because doing something for 700 days straight shows me that I, too, am becoming a disciplined person. And I enjoy being a disciplined person very much.

    The occasional insights are but a byproduct. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    I don’t practice the guitar so I can show the world how well I play.

    I play because it’s fun to practice something hard and feel a sense of improvement.

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    Being able to play a beautiful piece is just a by-product. Pleasant. But a byproduct.

    There are by-products. And then there’s what matters.

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