#9 Striking gold

ByLukas

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

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    #63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

    ByLukas

    Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

    I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

    Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

    Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

    I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

    You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

    We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

    We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

    Lukas Van Vyve

  • #339 The fear that stops you the most

    ByLukas

    If you knew you’d always feel unsatisfied with what you write, would you still let satisfaction play a role in your writing process?

    If you knew your writing would always be criticized by others, no matter how good it is, would you still let their criticism determine whether you should publish?

    If you’d take the fear that stops you the most and rob it of its power, would you write and publish more?

  • | |

    #140 I don’t have to be good at this today.

    ByLukas

    Trying to become good fast makes you impatient. And impatience may well stop you from ever becoming good in the first place.

    Because the only way to become good is by understanding that in today’s practice session, you likely won’t be perfect anyway.

    That you likely won’t write your most insightful words.

    That you likely won’t run an all-time best.

    That you’ll likely spend a large part of your yoga session stumbling and losing balance.

    When you go into your practice session with that mindset…

    Suddenly it makes sense to focus hard on getting that one sentence right.

    Now it makes sense to focus on rhythmic breathing while running instead of pushing for a better time.

    Now it makes sense to focus on a tiny part of your body during an entire yoga session to train your awareness instead of trying to chase poses because “they look professional.”

    Even if there is not much time to “become good,” it still makes sense to assume there is time.

    Because that gives you the freedom to focus on the small adjustments that prepare you for when the time comes, and you truly need to perform.

    Since I’m always practicing anyway, I don’t have to be good at this today.

  • | |

    #112 Chipping away at your skepticism

    ByLukas

    You don’t have to believe you can do, be or achieve something today.

    But you must trust there’s always a tiny daily action, fairly easy to take, that goes against your disbelief.

    A tiny daily trusty builder, repeated every day, that chips away at your skepticism and plants a seed of self-trust in your brain: “Maybe I CAN change”?

    Then one day, you wake up and you believe: I can be whoever I choose to be.

  • |

    #225 Commitment comes first

    ByLukas

    When you decide if you should be chasing this goal, job, relationship, or place to live – in other words, commitment – you choose between action or inaction based on if it’s a viable, worthwhile, realistic goal.

    When you decide on the course of action – in other words, how to do something – you’re already committed to action.

    Sometimes, the commitment might be too big, too hard, or too disruptive – and that’s perfectly valid.

    But here’s what I’ve noticed, my friend: whenever I try to decide on the how before I’ve decided on the commitment, I have even more doubts, and any course of action seems complicated.

    I’m curious how you feel about it. We’ll talk more about it in the coming days and weeks.

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