Writing every day won’t always help you achieve your greatest desires.
But it might help you lose them — when you realize that what you really wanted was not the outcome, but the feeling of consciously choosing who you want to be, and consciously acting in alignment with that choice.
Once the desires have fallen away, all that remains is the fulfillment every day.
You can relax now.
I go to the gym, play volleyball, run, and land on yoga.
I speak, film, consult, and land on writing.
I sing, dance, drum, and land on playing the guitar.
When you’ve only ever seen one path for yourself all your life, it’s scarcity.
When you’ve opened your eyes, explored life, and consciously decided to take the path that aligns the most with who you want to be…
It’s destiny.
Explore.
If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing.
If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…)
If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended to have, I actively avoid the desired result of that conversation.
Inaction is not the lack of action.
Inaction is taking active action to avoid working towards the result you desire.
The real question, then, is:
Why do I actively avoid working toward a desired result?
Am I worried that even if I write daily, I’ll never become a skilled writer?
Am I worried I won’t enjoy writing anymore if I ever get recognition?
Am I worried that writing every day will turn me into a skilled writer, but being a professional writer won’t be fulfilling?
P.S. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I only have a limited repertoire of examples in this newsletter, my friend
I trust you to apply the insight to your situation.
And maybe, when you’re pondering the question above, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me:
That more often than not, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”
You don’t have to be good at this today.
If you were, you wouldn’t have to practice.
And if you wouldn’t have to practice, it wouldn’t be fun
And definitely not fulfilling.
You don’t have to be good at this today.
In his book The Art of Learning (and his podcast episodes with Tim Ferris), Josh Waitzkin, former chess player and martial artist, introduces the concept of “hidden reps” when learning something new:
I think that where the really potent, low-hanging fruit hanging in plain sight lie are in the thematic, are in breaking down the learning process into the core principles or themes you want to work on and doing reps of those. Those are just invisible to people in plain sight.
Josh Waitzkin on the Tim Ferris Podcast: https://tim.blog/2020/03/14/josh-waitzkin-transcript-412/
In other words, find “neglected skills“: situations you don’t often find yourself in and where you haven’t developed a lot of trust and confidence in your abilities yet.
Then isolate and practice them until you develop confidence and trust for that particular neglected skill.
For example, when working on his chess game, instead of practicing the “openings” like everybody else, Josh would isolate the “end games”(the final part of a chess match) and practice only these.
Most people wouldn’t think of doing that; they would always start at the opening (that’s where a chess match starts, after all) and practice the end game only as an afterthought, deep into their practice session when they had already spent all their energy on the opening.
By cutting out the opening entirely during practice sessions, Josh got a lot more “hidden reps” with the end game than his competitors, which led to a big competitive advantage.
This might seem obvious, but in my experience, it’s really quite counterintuitive not to start at the beginning when practicing a skill.
For example, when learning a new guitar piece, it feels strange not to start at the beginning but to pick out a difficult part and practice that over and over again. It’s not impossible, and many teachers will tell you to isolate difficult parts, but my (and many other students’) first instinct would always be to start at the top, over and over again.
Which begs the question:
Where else are we “starting from the top” over and over again, instead of finding and isolating the neglected skills?
Some examples of how I’m trying to integrate this principle into my life:
Neglected skills are everywhere. No matter what you’re trying to learn or achieve, creating the circumstances where you can identify and isolate them, then put in the hidden reps, will pay big dividends.
Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.
I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.
The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.
The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.
The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.
The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.
So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?
Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?
It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.
And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?
So I invite you to give it a try.
Right here, right now: who’s in charge?
Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.
I don’t know why I decide to write every day.
But I know writing feels right.
I know it feels like what the person I want to be would do.
Sometimes, that explanation is not enough.
But usually that’s all the “why” I need to write again.
