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    #123 Never again

    What gets you going – and what keeps you going?

    Pain. Pleasure. Usually, a combination of both.


    I like being disciplined – it gives me pleasure.

    I also know very well that I don’t want to go back to jumping from one project to another, giving up before reaching any meaningful level of skill or results, and ending up frustrated with myself – the thought alone is painful.


    The pain often gets you going, later to be joined by pleasure in a cocktail of motivation, discipline, and persistence.

    And in this case, strong emotions, passion, and yes, also pain, often lead to more leverage – if you allow yourself to see the lessons it can teach you.

    I never want to be that person again – which helped me figure out that I really want to be this person.

    Living your never again might well help you figure out your yes, for as long as I shall live.

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    #94 Restoring Faith in the Malleable Mind

    It only takes one new habit to restore faith in the malleable mind.

    “I’ve never been good at languages. Until I learned my first foreign language. If I can do that… what else is possible?”

    “I’ve never been good at public speaking. Until I gave my first speech, and then my second, and then my twentieth. If I can do that… What else is possible?”

    I always give up on projects before I bring them to completion. Until I completed one project. Then another. Then another. If I can do that… What else is possible?

    If something I thought I could never do becomes possible, cracks start to appear in my limiting beliefs.

    It’s not just about the habits. It’s about the belief that you can change your habits, trust in your ability to complete projects and stick to your routine.

    And the only way to build that is through taking small daily actions that are votes for who you want to be (and what you want to achieve).

    Again: it only takes one new daily action to start restoring your belief in the malleable mind.

    Start with one. Then discover what else is possible.

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    #117 The quest for (average) ideas

    Talking about “good and bad ideas” implies a ranking. Good, compared to what? Bad, compared to what?

    The truth is that most ideas you produce will be average – because there is no other way.

    Not all ideas can be your best idea – and if they are, they will soon be replaced by a better idea. Your previous best idea has now become average.

    Not all ideas can be your worst idea either. And if they are, they will soon be replaced by an even worse idea. Your worst idea has now become average.

    This dynamic matters. Because if you produce an idea a day, compared to someone producing one idea a month, your chances of replacing your current best idea with something better are much higher.

    You’ll also likely replace your current worst idea with something even worse – and that’s fine. You’re increasing amplitude in both directions. It’s all part of the practice.

    The more ideas you have, the bigger your sample size. The more elaborate the ranking. The better the good ideas. The worse the bad ideas.

    All this to say: bad, average, and good ideas ALL stack the odds of striking gold in your favor. What matters is that you show up and generate ideas.

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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #182 Uncertain future visions

    I can say I want to run a marathon, write a book, or have a successful career – which doesn’t mean I’ll actually end up running a marathon, writing a book, or having a successful career.

    But if I’m serious about it, it does mean I’ll take daily steps towards that goal – daily actions that will change my identity.

    Can I live with the present-day implications of my uncertain future visions?

    If I don’t know yet if I’ll ever write the book – will these daily actions still be fulfilling to me?

    Will they make me happier?

    Will I be happy with the person I become by taking such daily actions?

    Do these daily actions contribute to a fulfilling emotional, mental, physical, and social life?

    If not, am I willing to make emotional, mental, physical, or social sacrifices?

    This is a choice everyone makes for themselves.

    But I don’t want to make my present day miserable for an uncertain vision of the future I don’t even know will happen.

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