#347 Ugly or bland, it doesn’t matter

Day 150: I started a podcast

First, I focused on becoming good at publishing my writing every day.

Then, I started focusing on getting better at writing—a never-ending story.

Now, 150 days later, the cycle starts over.

First, I focus on becoming good at publishing a podcast every day, narrating the daily insights from the newsletter.

And soon, I’ll start getting better at narrating the daily insights—a never-ending story.

You can do me a massive favor by subscribing to the podcast on your favorite podcast app, leaving a 5-star rating, and sharing the podcast with anyone who may find these daily reminders helpful.

The podcast schedule runs behind the newsletter schedule, so you won’t see audio narration for the newest Insights yet, but for older Insights, there’ll be audio embedded on the website.

Thanks so much for being on this journey with me!

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

I can worry a thousand times until my worries come true.

I can envision my dreams a thousand times until my dreams come true.

Not because of the act of worrying or the dreaming itself.

But because my worries or dreams will incite different present actions taking me down different paths.

Whatever future I focus on a thousand times, I’ll be drawn towards.

Choose wisely.