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  • #323 It’s about the way you say…

    It’s about the way you say, “I’m tired, and I’m here anyway.”

    It’s about the way you say, “I’m exhausted, I’m skipping this one, and that’s okay, because I’ll be back on track the next day.”

    It’s about the way you say, “Come what may, I’m in this, and from my chosen path, I won’t be led astray.”

    It’s about intentionality and elastic discipline.

    It’s about direction.

    Most of all, it’s about feeling good, not guilty.

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    #169 The things you never need to be good at

    There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence when you’re passionate about something.

    But being passionate doesn’t come with an obligation to be – or even try to become – good.

    It’s fine to write for the sake of writing, not to write a bestseller novel.
    Paint for the sake of painting, not to be the next Picasso.
    Run for the sake of running, not to finish a marathon.

    I don’t need to be good at this today.

    And some things I just never need to be good at.

    You always have a choice.

  • #383 A counterintuitive approach to skill building

    With how (online) education and teaching are done nowadays, most people give up long before they get real results. Let’s fix that with this counterintuitive 3-step approach to skill-building: 👇

    1️⃣ Step 1: Intent Builder.

    Before you start, you must light a fire under yourself.

    Why is this important to you?

    What do you stand to gain?

    Also (especially), what do you stand to lose?

    (❗️I guarantee that at some point, you’ll forget what you’re doing it all for. So make your Intent strong and remind yourself every day; otherwise, you’ll always let life get in the way.)

    2️⃣ Step 2: Trust Builder.

    In the first 14-21 days, there’s only one thing that matters:

    Can you prove to yourself that your Intent is strong enough to show up and take action daily?

    Or are you derailed by the slightest setback or the lack of quick results?

    Most people don’t have that trust in themselves yet. So you must build it up by taking small, daily actions completely decoupled from “quick wins” (I call them Tiny Trust Builders).

    This is counterintuitive because people crave instant results, which means most course creators try to build them in their programs.

    But the harsh truth is, only when you can show up without getting instant results are you ready to get real results.

    3️⃣ Step 3: Skill Builder.

    Once you’ve built the trust that you’ll show up, you can focus on skills, progress, and results. Here are two valuable mechanisms that take you from Trust-Building to Skill-Building:

    👉 Make things a little harder every day or week
    👉 Implement feedback loops: ask for coach feedback, talk about what you’re doing, show your work,…

    Bottom line:

    Learning something new is easier if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day.

    It’s also easier to get through a bad day if you’re already in the habit of showing up every day – after all, you know that tomorrow, you’ll be there to take action again.

  • #370 Skipping the writing is not an option

    Once you’ve been writing daily for long enough, continuing to write is the easier option, more aligned with your habits and identity.

    Just like for most people, it feels more natural to continue brushing their teeth every day than to skip a day.

    But when you’re still building the writing habit, skipping the writing is the easier option.

    Which means it shouldn’t be an option at all — until it has become an option you’re not interested in anymore.

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

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