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    #65 The Secret to Sticking to Your Habits

    I don’t wake up every day in love with the prospect of writing a blog post.

    But I do love that part of my identity is that I publish something every day.

    By not publishing, I would lose that part of my identity and end up frustrated because I gave up something I enjoy. And that’s painful.

    So I write.

    The secret to sticking to your habits: make the pain of quitting bigger than the pain of getting over the resistance against doing what you know is good for you.

    Because the pain of discipline is always easier to bear than the pain of regret.

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    #45 The tragedy of the spoken word

    Language helps us describe the world we perceive. Yet in doing so, it closes our eyes, our ears, our touch, and our heart to the parts of the world we don’t have words for.

    Every language is a lens on a felt reality within and around us – both clarifying and categorizing the world, and limiting it by the words it has available.

    Learning more languages gives you new lenses – and a richer sense of reality.

    But just like the structure of our ears limit the sounds we can hear, and the structure of our eyes limit colors we can see, the structure of any language somehow limits our felt experience of the world.

    How do we re-access memories, emotions, hidden away in a long-forgotten language?

    How do we re-learn to listen to the voices of the wordless world speaking to our animal self… the voices that once upon a time, before verbal language emerged, were all we had?

    there’s an eternal song
    drowned out by the confines of my mother tongue
    a wordless melody that once made sense
    until our brain started blurring it with a lens
    narrowing it down
    neglecting its nuances through verbs and nouns

    with all its might language wants us to abide
    but the wordless world it tries to hide
    will forever be inside

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

    Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

    I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

    Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

    Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

    I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

    You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

    We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

    We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #59 Entity Mindset vs Incremental Mindset

    Do you believe you’re good at something solely because of talent, invalidating all the work you’re putting in?

    Or do you believe you can change the course of your life, and let your daily actions shape who you are?

    The American psychologist and author of the book “Mindset” Carol Dweck describes how the way you think about your abilities can make or break your success in life:

    • Entity (fixed) mindset: “I’m good at languages, I’m bad at math”
    • Incremental (growth) mindset: “I worked hard on this, I’m learning, I’m discovering how to do this”

    An entity mindset makes you run into a wall

    When things get tough, people with an entity mindset often give up, because they don’t truly believe they can get much better.

    After all,I if you believe it’s all about innate ability, then why make any effort to develop strengths or weaknesses?

    An entity mindset also leads to fear of failure and perfectionism. If you’re believed to have an innate, fixed talent that’s set in stone, you’ll constantly need to live up to an unreasonably high standard for that particular talent.

    An incremental mindset makes you thrive

    People with an incremental mindset, on the other hand, thrive in tough situations: they know that through perseverance and a focus on daily practice and perseverance they can develop their skills and talents.

    Even if predisposition plays an important role, switching to an incremental mindset will always make you feel better about yourself and your daily actions.

    And while education and childhood experiences have a large impact on your mindset – you can always change your mind – by changing your actions.

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    #222 Today is your lucky day

    Today is your lucky day, my friend.
    Or at least, it could be, depending on how you interpret what will happen.

    Today is your worst day ever, my friend.
    Or at least, it could be, depending on how you interpret what will happen.

    The choice is yours. It has always been.

    P.S. I don’t know about you, but weirdly enough, being able to decide over your luck didn’t feel like a relief to me at first.

    That’s a good topic for another day…

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