#270 How to gain trust, acceptance, and comfort

ByLukas
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It’s hard not to trust someone who fully trusts themselves.

But it’s hard not to accept someone who fully accepts themselves.

It’s hard not to be at ease around someone fully at ease with themselves.

In other words: if you want others to trust, accept, and be at ease with you, first learn to trust, accept, and be at ease with yourself.

You don’t need anyone else for that – just some tiny daily actions that prove that trust, acceptance, and comfort to yourself.

Oh, and you could start with that today.

You don’t have to.

But you could. And if you could, why wouldn’t you?

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    #169 The things you never need to be good at

    ByLukas

    There’s nothing wrong with striving for excellence when you’re passionate about something.

    But being passionate doesn’t come with an obligation to be – or even try to become – good.

    It’s fine to write for the sake of writing, not to write a bestseller novel.
    Paint for the sake of painting, not to be the next Picasso.
    Run for the sake of running, not to finish a marathon.

    I don’t need to be good at this today.

    And some things I just never need to be good at.

    You always have a choice.

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    #211 If you can do that, you can also do this

    ByLukas

    No one is bad at sticking to habits.

    Because everyone’s day-to-day life is stitched together with recurring activities anyway, whether you consciously choose to do them or not.

    Maybe you brush your teeth every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you wash your hands before every meal – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you shower every morning right after waking up – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you write every day – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you practice yoga three times a week – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Maybe you spend 10 minutes daily catching up with family, friends, acquaintances, or relatives you haven’t seen in a while – and that has become a non-negotiable.

    Habits are habits.

    And that has an interesting consequence:

    If you can do that, you can also do this.

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    #230 It’s so much, until it isn’t

    ByLukas

    “Write 3 pages of Stream of Consciousness journaling.”

    “Coming up with 100 things to be grateful about.”

    “Publish a daily insight.”

    My initial reaction, and maybe yours, is, “That’s so much.”

    And that’s exactly the point.

    It IS a lot.

    But actually, it isn’t.

    And when you try it out, and see that it isn’t, you’ve shattered the illusion of scarcity and discovered abundance.

    Maybe we humans are wired to believe in scarcity and fighting over sparse food.

    And while that may serve us well, in many endeavors, there’s much more abundance than we think.

    If your gut reaction was, “That’s so much,” I invite you to try it out.

    Write down what the voice in your head talks about for 3 entire pages.

    Write down 100 things you’re grateful for.

    Challenge the scarcity mindset.

    There may well be abundance on the other side.

  • #331 Building habits the lazy way

    ByLukas

    Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.

    Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.

    I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.

    I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.

    If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?

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