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    #178 You don’t have to master this today

    Performance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.

    I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.

    I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.

    I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.

    Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.

    You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.

    You don’t have to master this today.

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    #32 Before I learned not to listen

    Before I learned not to listen
    I would stand
    seemingly still
    but secretly swaying
    swallowed up by a willow tree
    and its play with the wind

    Before I learned not to listen
    I would hold my head against the rind
    reach
    reconnect with an old friend
    the way it has always felt best
    cheek pressed to chest

    Before I learned not to listen
    a breeze in the leaves
    rustling ruminating
    would sound like raindrops in my ears
    making my eyes answer
    with a torrent of tears

    Before I learned not to listen
    a rolling thunder
    thumping like a beating heart
    would rumble from my cheek to my ear
    replacing my fear
    with a memory I used to held dear
    we were never really apart

    Before I learned not to listen
    before the lust for language
    reduced what I could see
    and sense within
    I would allow the whispers of the wordless world
    speak to me like kin

    Before I learned not to listen
    I would accept
    that once upon a time
    I remembered your name
    and once upon a time we both knew
    we were one and all the same

    Lukas Van Vyve
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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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