#262 How to feel more fulfillment right now

ByLukas
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Fulfillment doesn’t come from closing the gap between wanting and having.

It comes from closing the gap between wanting and doing.

Want to write a book? Then write every day – even if you don’t have the book yet.

Want to start a successful business? Then start the business – even if you’re not successful yet.

Want to run a marathon? Then run every day – even if you haven’t run a marathon yet.

After all, you might never close the gap between wanting and having.

But the gap between wanting and doing, you can close right this very moment.

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  • #448 What would you like to become good at?

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    What would you like to become good at?

    Why do you want to become good at this? Passion? Purpose? Impressing others?

    Are you willing to spend a lot of time to become good at this?

    Are you willing to give up other things to become good at this?

    Are you making life harder for yourself by trying to become good at this?

    Is that worth it?

    …

    The question that rules them all:

    How easy was it to answer the questions above?

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    ByLukas

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
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    #303 Why you do what you do

    ByLukas

    I don’t know yet what I want to say today, and I write anyway.

    I write anyway because it’s the only way to figure out what I want to say.

    I do yoga because it’s the only way to understand why yoga is important.

    I run because it’s the only way to figure out why running is worth it.

    I spend time with family because it’s the only way to understand why love is important.

    There’s no need to wait for reasons of motivation.

    You do what you do to figure out why you’re doing it.

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    #156 Making the future just a little brighter

    ByLukas

    A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

    It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

    Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

    So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

    I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

    I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

    And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

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