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    #26 Becoming less blind to what’s already here

    I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.

    I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.

    I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.

    While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.

    Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.

    A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.

    And with every new insight, I become a little less blind to what’s already here.

    In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.

    The perfect explanation might never come.

    The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.

    But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.

    At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.

    Or maybe it never happens.

    It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.

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    #175 Perpetuating painful comfort

    We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

    If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

    If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

    If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

    If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

    If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

    Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

    Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

    Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

  • #322 The naysayer in your head

    Whenever you set out to establish a new habit, there’s often a nagging thought at the back of your mind wondering, “When will you quit this time?”

    But the naysayer in your head that has had free reign for all these years can’t be silenced.

    They can only be proven wrong.

    “You expect me to quit? Watch me.”

    “Say whatever you want; I am showing up today.”

    Tiny Trust Builders, day after day, until the naysayer admits, “I was wrong. You’re not that person anymore.”

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    #22 Actions Overrule Thoughts

    One of the most potent drivers of change AND perpetuators of old habits is cognitive dissonance:

    In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the perception of contradictory information, and the mental toll of it. Relevant items of information include a person’s actions, feelings, ideas, beliefs, values, and things in the environment. Cognitive dissonance is typically experienced as psychological stress when persons participate in an action that goes against one or more of those things.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

    What’s interesting about cognitive dissonance is that both “sides” of the dissonance are not equal:

    If you think one thing, but you do something else, eventually you’ll start believing what you do, not what you think.

    In other words: actions overrule thoughts.

    1. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) and I don’t write a daily post (action), I perpetuate the belief.
    2. If I tell myself I can’t write a daily post (thought) but I gain enough courage and I actually do write a daily post (action), I will start shifting my belief towards the actions I’m taking. In other words: I’ll start believing I can write a daily post.
    3. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought), but I never actually write that daily post (action), then my belief will start shifting again, and I’ll start believing I can’t write a daily post.
    4. If I tell myself I can write a daily post (thought) and I do write a daily post (action), my belief grows stronger.

    We usually start in the first scenario until we gain enough leverage over ourselves to change our actions. The moment we change our actions to actions that conflict with our thoughts/beliefs, we’re creating cognitive dissonance.

    Then, if we follow through with our new actions, our beliefs start to change.

    The big turning point is that moment where you start taking a different action.

    Which begs the question:

    • How can we gain enough leverage over ourselves to go against our beliefs and change our actions for the better?
    • How can we make it so important to us to change (or so painful NOT to change) that we start taking different actions?

    Identify your leverage points that jolt you into action, and you gain power over your beliefs and identity.

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    #158 Voting fraud doesn’t exist

    Voting fraud doesn’t exist in your body and mind.

    You can’t cheat your way into being a writer. Your body and mind count every word as a vote for being a writer.

    You can’t cheat your way into being a runner. Your body and mind count every every stride as a vote for being a runner.

    You can’t cheat your way into being healthy. Your body and mind count every nutrient.

    Luckily, you don’t need a landslide to change your identity. A simple majority is enough to make the power balance tip over.

    Tiny Trust Builders.

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