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    #217 Inaction is not the lack of action

    If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing.

    If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…)

    If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended to have, I actively avoid the desired result of that conversation.


    Inaction is not the lack of action.

    Inaction is taking active action to avoid working towards the result you desire.

    The real question, then, is:

    Why do I actively avoid working toward a desired result?

    Am I worried that even if I write daily, I’ll never become a skilled writer?

    Am I worried I won’t enjoy writing anymore if I ever get recognition?

    Am I worried that writing every day will turn me into a skilled writer, but being a professional writer won’t be fulfilling?

    P.S. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I only have a limited repertoire of examples in this newsletter, my friend

    I trust you to apply the insight to your situation.

    And maybe, when you’re pondering the question above, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me:

    That more often than not, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

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    #26 Becoming less blind to what’s already here

    I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.

    I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.

    I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.

    While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.

    Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.

    A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.

    And with every new insight, I become a little less blind to what’s already here.

    In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.

    The perfect explanation might never come.

    The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.

    But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.

    At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.

    Or maybe it never happens.

    It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.

  • #13 Write & Publish. Then write some more

    Here’s a question Tim Ferris asks startup founders (and himself) when deciding to invest time and money into a new project:

    “If, in one (or two, or three) years from now, this whole project has failed miserably… Which assumptions you hold today were proven wrong?”

    Tim Ferris

    Answering the question first requires defining failure and success.

    For my project of publishing a daily insight on this blog success looks like this:

    Write & publish.

    Edit.

    Write & publish.

    Edit.

    Then write & publish some more.

    Good, bad, well-received or not, received or read by anyone at all, it doesn’t matter.

    Because first of all, writing is a creative outlet for me.

    Second: long as I write & publish consistently, I trust I will get better at writing and publishing.

    Finally: I trust that from all that sculpting away, day by day, will come better and better insights.

    A pretty low bar for success – which, counterintuitively, often leads to more progress long-term.

    Now we have established that:

    What are the assumptions that could be wrong if next year, it turns out I failed to write & publish every day?

    Here are some I can think of:

    • Writing and publishing every day is going to be a long-term fulfilling activity for me
    • I am truly fine with writing and publishing without anyone ever reading it
    • I am fine spending considerable time on starting a new project that I might never monetize
    • Writing & publishing every day really leads to better writing skills and interesting insights (although even if this assumption is false, it wouldn’t necessarily stop me from writing.)

    Will these assumptions be proven wrong?

    Only time will tell.

    Until then… I write & publish… then write & publish some more.

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    #85 Habit Containers

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

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    #72 Contrast

    Without sadness, how do I know I’m happy?

    Without happiness, how do I know I’m sad?

    Without anger, how do I know I’m grateful?

    Without gratitude, how do I know I’m angry?

    Without pain, how do I know what pleasure feels like?

    Without pleasure, how do I know I’m in pain?

    Without bad moments, how can I appreciate the good ones?

    Without good moments, what gets me through the bad ones?

    Contrast.

  • #331 Building habits the lazy way

    Some people think they can’t build habits because they’re lazy.

    Maybe we all are – so we might as well make laziness the key to building habits.

    I write only one short daily post because I know I won’t stick to writing long-form posts – and when I feel like writing long-form, it doesn’t feel like an obligation but a treat. Laziness built the writing habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I write more.

    I do 5-minute daily meditations because I know I won’t stick to 30-minute meditation as a habit – yet when I DO meditate for 30 minutes, it feels like a treat. Laziness built the meditation habit, and laziness makes me feel good when I meditate more.

    If you are so sure you won’t stick to anything overly ambitious, what’s the laziest way you could implement a behavior change? Can you use that as your starting point to build life-changing habits?

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