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    #221 How to appease the worrier mind

    How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
    And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
    Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
    Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
    Should you be worrying at all?
    If not, could you stop right away?


    Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

    Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

    Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

    Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

    Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

    Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

    But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

    So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

    Let me know how it goes.

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    #56 Action, traction, distraction

    At any given time in your day, if you’re doing what you set out to do, whether it’s work, play, going for a walk, or taking a nap, you’re gaining traction. In other words, you’re taking action and are moving towards a goal you set… and you’re becoming more of the person you want to be.

    If you’re not doing what you set out to do, you’re getting distracted. You’re taking action and are moving away from the goal you set… and you’re becoming less of the person you want to be.

    Traction, distraction… it’s all action. The only difference: are your actions deliberate, and have you intentionally chosen who you want to be (and which actions align with that identity)?

    I can consciously set out, in advance to write for two hours a day, because I want to be a writer. Then, if I end up actually writing during those two hours, I’m gaining traction towards that goal and the person I want to be: a writer.

    I can also consciously set out, in advance, to watch a Netflix series afterward as a reward for my hard labor, because I want to be someone who also allows downtime and relaxation in my day.

    And if during that time I set out to watch that series, I actually watch the series, guess what: I’m gaining traction towards that goal and identity too! (BUT following this logic, if during the time I set aside for Netflix, I decide to keep writing, strangely enough, the writing has now become the distraction. This is how you become a workaholic.)

    If I set out to meet with friends, or have a romantic date night because I want to be someone who values friendships and relationships, and I follow through… yep, now I’m gaining traction in that domain too.

    The same goes for anything else I consciously decide to do on any given day.

    Choose for traction and let your actions be a vote for who you want to be.

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    #119 Make anything a fulfilling skill

    Learning a skill isn’t so much about getting better – that’s just a side effect.

    It’s about discovering new ways of doing the same thing – just because you can, and just because you’re curious.

    Doing the same thing, this time precisely – then doing it again, not precisely at all.

    Doing the same thing, this time deliberately, carefully thinking about every step – then doing it again, not thinking about any steps at all.

    When you stay curious, you learn to discover nuances you couldn’t perceive before.

    When you stay curious, you learn to be deliberate until you can be intuitive.

    When you stay curious, you learn to become less blind to what’s already here.

    And when you stay curious, you realize there’s not much more to a fulfilling life than sculpting away, day by day – and anything can be a fulfilling skill.

  • #439 Resolve can bring you far

    I can’t predict what will happen tomorrow – or even today.

    But I do know that today, I resolve to write.

    And tomorrow I resolve to write once again.

    And that resolve has brought me to 439 consecutive days of writing.

    439 days of writing, despite living in an unpredictable world.

    439 days of realizing most obstacles are excuses.

    439 days of proving that resolve can bring you pretty far.

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