I can believe I must understand the theory before I engage in practice, or I can believe that theory makes more sense when it explains my practice.
Theory and practice are partners, and more often than not, it should be practice that leads the dance.
Intellectually understanding that the perfect speech includes a strong opening, humor, a dramatic demonstration, rhetorical elements, and emotional appeal doesn’t mean your next speech will contain those elements right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding the nuances and body positioning of a yoga pose doesn’t mean the next time you stand in that pose, you’ll perform it perfectly right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Intellectually understanding verbs, tenses, or case systems in a foreign language doesn’t mean you’ll be able to use them correctly in conversations right away – and that’s okay.
You don’t have to master this today.
Turning intellectual understanding into internalized knowledge and skill is a slow, layered process:
You got this.
Whether you feel like you got this or not…
You got this.
You can do this.
This is possible for you.
It has always been.
And it will always be.
Deep down, you know this.
And maybe today, you can start accepting it, too.
Getting better at something isn’t about making no mistakes.
It’s not even about making fewer mistakes.
It’s about repeating fewer rookie mistakes, so there’s space for you to notice more subtle errors.
If you think you’re making fewer mistakes, you’re either not progressing past your current skill level, or you’re not paying attention.
Voting fraud doesn’t exist in your body and mind.
You can’t cheat your way into being a writer. Your body and mind count every word as a vote for being a writer.
You can’t cheat your way into being a runner. Your body and mind count every every stride as a vote for being a runner.
You can’t cheat your way into being healthy. Your body and mind count every nutrient.
Luckily, you don’t need a landslide to change your identity. A simple majority is enough to make the power balance tip over.
If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?
If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?
If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?
There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”
After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.
But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:
Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.
This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.
So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.
Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.
After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?
Skip a day, then start again.
Build self-trust.
Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.
Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.
“I can only do that when…”
Remove the “only” and the when”.
I can do that.
And so can you.
