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  • #298 Setting yourself up for success

    You can choose what success in your life looks like.

    And if you make your daily successes achievable enough so you feel successful every day, guess what: you’re a successful person now.

    There’s a reason it’s called Tiny Trust Builders, not massive out-of-reach Trust Builders.

    So celebrate that one-minute workout you did.
    That one sentence you wrote today.
    That one new word you learned in a new language.
    That one time you didn’t give in to cravings.

    Because daily Tiny Trust Builders create massive momentum and massive self-trust.

    And I don’t know about you, my friend, but I’d rather feel successful every day than like a failure because those good feelings will carry over in all other aspirations and relationships.

  • #468 There’s wisdom in wrong turns

    Finding the right path for you often means first taking the wrong turns.

    Just like learning what works usually means first learning what doesn’t work.

    Because gaining experience is learning to discern and distinguish between what works and what doesn’t.

    And the best way to learn to discern right and wrong is by doing things right and wrong.

    There’s wisdom in wrong turns.

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    #117 The quest for (average) ideas

    Talking about “good and bad ideas” implies a ranking. Good, compared to what? Bad, compared to what?

    The truth is that most ideas you produce will be average – because there is no other way.

    Not all ideas can be your best idea – and if they are, they will soon be replaced by a better idea. Your previous best idea has now become average.

    Not all ideas can be your worst idea either. And if they are, they will soon be replaced by an even worse idea. Your worst idea has now become average.

    This dynamic matters. Because if you produce an idea a day, compared to someone producing one idea a month, your chances of replacing your current best idea with something better are much higher.

    You’ll also likely replace your current worst idea with something even worse – and that’s fine. You’re increasing amplitude in both directions. It’s all part of the practice.

    The more ideas you have, the bigger your sample size. The more elaborate the ranking. The better the good ideas. The worse the bad ideas.

    All this to say: bad, average, and good ideas ALL stack the odds of striking gold in your favor. What matters is that you show up and generate ideas.

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    #15 Being intentional about the questions you ask yourself

    What you focus on right now, in the present moment, strongly affects your state. Focus on problems, you start worrying. Focus on a pleasant prospect, you start dreaming.

    To manage state by directing focus, you must be intentional about the type of questions you ask to evaluate your experiences in life because whatever questions you ask yourself (and you DO ask yourself evaluating questions all the time, consciously or subconsciously), your brain is constantly coming up with answers for these questions.

    The answers can be accurate or not; that doesn’t matter to your brain. It’ll justify and find answers, reasons, and connections for anything you ask… and through those answers, give meaning to anything that happens to you (and interpret it as painful or pleasurable).

    How to be intentional about the questions you ask yourself:

    1. Eliminate limiting, “endless loop questions” that contain self-defeating presuppositions (like “Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always late? Why do I always give up? Why do I always hurt the people around me?). They’re dangerous because they force your mind to come up with answers: fake or real reasons that justify and perpetuate unhealthy behavior.
    2. Ask yourself empowering questions that challenge your mind to come up with empowering solutions, justifications, reasons:
      1. Empowering presuppositions: Why do I always arrive in time? Why do I always stick to the goals I set for myself? Why am I always kind to myself and others around me?
      2. Questions like “How can I be as helpful as possible? How can I make sure this is going to be a fulfilling, amazing day?”
      3. Questions like “What would the version of me I want to be do or say in this situation?”
  • #212 Your beacon of trust

    835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.

    It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).

    Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).

    None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.

    The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.

    Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.

    It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.

    It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.

    In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.

    And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.

    I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.

    And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.

    P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.

    After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.

    You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.

    Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.

    P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!

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