#221 How to appease the worrier mind

ByLukas
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How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
Should you be worrying at all?
If not, could you stop right away?

Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

Let me know how it goes.

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    #51 Reversing the causal arrow

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    Who is the person who has already done (or is already doing) what you want to do?

    What does their life look like?

    Where are they?

    What do they say, think feel?

    What do they focus on?

    Who did they have to become?

    What would life be like if YOU have already done (or are already doing) what you want to do?

    It’s hard to achieve change if you’re stuck in your current identity (where you haven’t achieved that change yet).

    Using your imagination to reverse the causal arrow can help you get out of that rut.

    First imagine what it feels like to have already achieved (or to be already doing) something.

    Then choose your present actions according to that feeling and identity.

    Let every action you take help you become more of who you want to be.

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    #180 Progressive Insight

    ByLukas

    Performance gap: the frustrating gap between how you know something should be done in an ideal world and how you currently do it. 

    One implication of the performance gap: you don’t have to master this skill today.

    Another implication, maybe even more important: your idea of how something “should be done” is probably wrong anyway.

    Because as you practice and gain mastery, you’ll also gain progressive insight: a more nuanced intellectual understanding of the skill you’re practicing.

    What I thought was a “good” yoga session six months ago, I now see as a session full of misalignment and cramped muscles.

    What I thought of as a solid piece of writing six months ago, I now see as an argument full of holes and points of improvement.

    Sometimes, progressive insight is just about more nuances.

    Sometimes, progressive insight shows that your initial intellectual understanding completely missed the mark.

    There’s only one way to find out: practice: Sculpt away, day by day. 

  • |

    #76 Build Discipline by Starting Small

    ByLukas

    The trick to building discipline: stick to your projects more often than you quit, so your actions start overruling self-defeating thoughts.

    So how make sure you stick to more of your projects and habits

    Make them feasible. Start small.

    Write a couple of sentences in your journal every day.

    Write short articles.

    Walk for 5 minutes.

    Do 2 minutes of breathing exercises.

    In the long run, you’ll probably have to build up volume and intensity. But first, start small. Build trust of completion. Become disciplined.

  • |

    #105 This is how you make the future yours

    ByLukas

    When it comes to habits, our actions in the present make future present moments more (or less) likely.

    Do I journal today? That’s a vote for my journaling identity – which increases the likelihood of another journaling moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

    Do I check Instagram today? That’s a vote for my Instagram-browsing identity – which increases the likelihood of another Instagram moment tomorrow. Predictive power.

    Have I journaled 700 days in a row? I can say quite confidently I’ll journal again tomorrow. Massive predictive power.

    So how do change the future?

    Weaken the predictive power of one habit – stop taking the actions you want to change.

    Strengthen the predictive power of a new habit – intentionally start taking different actions, and let every present moment be a vote for that new habit (and new identity).

    The process is challenging and slow.

    You’ll need patience.

    Willpower to resist the pull of habits that have already accumulated tremendous predictive power.

    You’ll need presence of mind and perseverance to choose new actions because you know they’re important to you.

    It’s challenging. Slow. And worth it.

    Because this is how you make the future yours.

  • #231 When everything is urgent

    ByLukas

    When everything is urgent, how do we know what to do first?

    One solution is adding more nuance:

    What’s the most urgent?

    What’s the most important?

    Breathing is urgent.

    A crying child is urgent.

    A toilet visit can be urgent.

    Sending that email out tonight right before bed instead of tomorrow, maybe not so much?

    Here’s the important question:

    If you’re going to prioritize the urgent matters anyway, why stress yourself out by calling everything urgent in the first place?

    Making everything urgent devalues truly urgent matters.

    Because when everything is urgent, nothing is urgent anymore.

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