#221 How to appease the worrier mind

ByLukas
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How likely is the scenario you’re worrying about?
And how impactful or life-threatening is that scenario?
Now, how much mental bandwidth is worrying about it taking up?
Are your worries proportionate to the actual danger?
Should you be worrying at all?
If not, could you stop right away?

Of course, you and I both know that’s not always how it works, my friend.

Because even if we know rationally that we shouldn’t worry, the worrier mind tends to scoff at answering rational questions.

Yet today, I had an insight: maybe those questions aren’t meant to dismiss the worrier mind at all but empower the sane mind, temporarily suppressed and overpowered?

Maybe they can provide enough encouragement to make the sane mind stand up for itself again and say, “Enough is enough.”

Maybe that way, the sane mind will put the worrier mind back in its place, reminding it of the only task where it truly shines: protect us from life-threatening risks.

Or maybe not. I don’t know, my friend. You’ve seen me: I’m just another human with good days and bad—productive days and lazy. Days of irrational fears and worry, and days of relaxing, dreaming, and visioning.

But this I do know: worrying too much has never improved my mood, and I doubt it has ever improved yours.

So if you’ve had an overactive worrier mind lately, trying won’t hurt.

Let me know how it goes.

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    #106 Pick your freedom battles

    ByLukas

    Most people don’t really want the freedom to do anything they want, in other words, a life without constraints.

    They want the freedom to set their own constraints.

    To decide, “I want to spend my time writing,” instead of saying, “I am supposed to become a lawyer because that’s what we do in this family.”

    To decide, “I don’t drink alcohol,” instead of saying, “My social circle forces me to have a glass when I’m out.”

    To decide, “I want to live in that house, drive that car, and go on that exotic holiday, and I’m going to make it happen,” instead of saying, “I’m constrained by my talent, potential, current job, or where I grew up.”

    To decide, “I have time to learn a new language because it’s important to me,” instead of saying, “I’m too busy, I can’t (or don’t deserve to) do anything nice for myself.”

    Good or bad, beneficial or misguided, constraints are always there.

    Because life constantly forces you to make decisions, and every decision leads to a new constraint.

    Since it’s challenging to be aware of your decisions and their long-term constraining effects, which constraints do you consider important enough to set consciously (and spend considerable time and effort doing so)?

    Where do you allow others to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Who do you allow to dictate the constraints you live within?

    Pick your freedom battles.

  • #468 There’s wisdom in wrong turns

    ByLukas

    Finding the right path for you often means first taking the wrong turns.

    Just like learning what works usually means first learning what doesn’t work.

    Because gaining experience is learning to discern and distinguish between what works and what doesn’t.

    And the best way to learn to discern right and wrong is by doing things right and wrong.

    There’s wisdom in wrong turns.

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    #85 Habit Containers

    ByLukas

    If I start learning a new language, I don’t aim to be good.

    My only goal: integrate a daily language learning habit into my day, as a habit container, without much regard for progress.

    Only when the habit container is in place, and I have built trust of completion (“Now I am the person who spends some time learning a language every single day”), the question becomes: which activities will build my skills most quickly?

    I could use my language learning habit container to learn a word a day – but that won’t help me much when speaking.

    Within the exact same habit container, I could also learn a chunk a day (a phrase), which I can use in conversations right away. Same habit container, same time investment, but better results.

    Within my “writing habit container”, I can write something in a private notebook every day – which is an excellent habit.

    But within that same container, I could also start publishing a short article every day. That changes the game.

    Don’t try to be good when building the habit. First build the habit container. Once it’s in place, you can start optimizing the actions you take within that container.

    First build trust in completion. Then build trust in skill.

    In other words: first I become good at learning a language every day. Then I become good at learning a language.

  • #291 Beliefs follow actions

    ByLukas

    When you write every day, you believe you can write every day.

    When you don’t write every day, you believe you can’t every day.

    And so it goes for running, working out, eating healthy, playing the guitar, or anything else you’re frustrated or satisfied with.

    Beliefs follow actions.

    Actions confirm beliefs.

    So follow your actions to uncover your beliefs.

    Then change your actions to change your beliefs.

  • #361 How to overcome the seemingly impossible

    ByLukas

    You’ve spent your lifetime bumping into the limits of what you deem possible.

    And you’ve also spent your lifetime overcoming the seemingly impossible.

    Sit. Crawl. Walk. Speak. Read. Find love. Get over loss and heartbreak. Travel. Invent. Create. Learn. Write.

    Overcoming the seemingly impossible is what makes you you.

    Once you accept that, the question shifts from, “What’s possible for me?” to, “What are you overcoming next?”

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