Similar Posts

  • | |

    #139 Habit Milestones

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

  • |

    #92 The true purpose of memory

    Memory isn’t an objective account of the past – and that’s not its purpose either.

    Memory stores the lessons we extract from life experience. And to do so, it modifies, adds, subtracts, highlights, and hides.

    Hot soup burns my tongue – next time, I’ll remember the pain, but not if it was tomato soup or chicken soup. And I’ll remember to wait a couple of minutes before having the first spoon.

    Experience lived. Irrelevant info deleted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    My country gets invaded – and that causes so much pain, I won’t just deliver an objective account of what happened: I’ll make sure to tell everyone who the evil guys are too.

    Experience lived. Story modified. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    I eat the most delicious dessert at a Mexico City restaurant – that’s the memory I’m going to tell my friends about, not which glass of dessert wine I had with it.

    Experience lived. Dessert highlighted. Lesson learned. Memory created.

    You’re going to make memories anyway. Which lessons do you want to learn?

  • #5 How did I ever let that stop me?

    The other day you asked about my favorite words.

    But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

    Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

    Consider this one:

    “Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

    This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

    • Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
    • Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
    • Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

    And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

    “Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

    Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

    “What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

    How would I feel about myself…

    How would I look at myself?

    What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

    Which obstacles would I have conquered?

    Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

    And just like that, with my imagination set free

    internal resistance melting away

    off I go

    finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

    P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

    Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

    • Because it helps me slow down.
    • Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
    • Because I feel calm after writing them.
    • Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
    • Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

    P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

    Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *