#217 Inaction is not the lack of action

ByLukas
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If I don’t write the post I intended to write, I actively avoid the desired result of my writing.

If I don’t do the workout I intended to do, I actively avoid the desired result of my workout (being in better shape, running a new PR,…)

If I don’t have the difficult conversation I intended to have, I actively avoid the desired result of that conversation.

Inaction is not the lack of action.

Inaction is taking active action to avoid working towards the result you desire.

The real question, then, is:

Why do I actively avoid working toward a desired result?

Am I worried that even if I write daily, I’ll never become a skilled writer?

Am I worried I won’t enjoy writing anymore if I ever get recognition?

Am I worried that writing every day will turn me into a skilled writer, but being a professional writer won’t be fulfilling?

P.S. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that I only have a limited repertoire of examples in this newsletter, my friend

I trust you to apply the insight to your situation.

And maybe, when you’re pondering the question above, you’ll come to the same conclusion as me:

That more often than not, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

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    #178 You don’t have to master this today

    ByLukas

    Performance gap: the frustrating gap between the way you know something should be done in an ideal world and the way you currently do it.

    I know I should write daily blog posts in advance so I have a buffer in case something comes up and I don’t get to write. Yet here I am, writing this daily insight hours before the publication date.

    I know what the perfect downward-facing dog pose in yoga looks like. Yet when I perform it myself, I am far off from that ideal pose.

    I know all the ingredients that make up a solid, convincing speech. Yet when I write one myself, I am only able to incorporate a few of those ingredients.

    Learning, then, is closing the gap between your intellectual understanding of an ideal product, action, or skill, and your current rendition of it.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself for your current performance.

    You can’t expect to turn intellectual understanding into mastery and internalized knowledge right away.

    You don’t have to master this today.

  • #407 You won’t achieve your greatest desires

    ByLukas

    Writing every day won’t always help you achieve your greatest desires.

    But it might help you lose them — when you realize that what you really wanted was not the outcome, but the feeling of consciously choosing who you want to be, and consciously acting in alignment with that choice.

    Once the desires have fallen away, all that remains is the fulfillment every day.

    You can relax now.

  • #151 Habit hardliners vs Elastic Discipline

    ByLukas

    If I don’t meditate today, will I ever become a consistent practitioner?

    If I don’t go for that run today, will I ever become a runner?

    If I don’t stick to my diet today, will I ever get in shape?

    There’s a time and place for being a hardliner about your habits – the first 30-45 days when the naysayer voice in your head still says, “let’s see how long it takes before I give up again.”

    After all, you’re building a new identity and will still be pulled back towards your old ways.

    But at some point, hardliners need to make the switch to “elastic discipline“:

    Being disciplined about your daily practice while trusting yourself enough that when life inevitably puts you in a situation where you HAVE to violate your principles, you can navigate it, adjust your behavior, and afterward, like an elastic band, bounce back to your disciplined practice.

    This is an overlooked part of habit-building. Because if you don’t consciously build the self-trust that you can, in fact, persevere despite setbacks, you’ll live in fear of giving up forever.

    So initially, when you start a new habit, be a hardliner.

    Use Tiny Trust Builders to start building confidence in your ability to persevere.

    After 30 days, start asking yourself: do I trust myself enough to skip a day and then bounce back to my disciplined practice tomorrow?

    Skip a day, then start again.

    Build self-trust.

    Feel your confidence and self-worth grow.

    Cultivate “elastic discipline” and become free.

  • |

    #38 Regret, worry, forget

    ByLukas

    We regret the past, worry about the future, and forget about the now.

    What if I:

    • learn from and let go of the past
    • create an empowering vision of the future, informed by your imagination AND lessons of the past
    • act in the now, confident that every action you take brings you closer towards that vision

    To let go of the past:

    • Write Morning Pages – Stream of Consciousness journaling
    • Did I give it my all? Whether my actions were aligned or misguided, did I go for it 100%?
    • Did I allow myself to learn something and see the silver lining?

    To create a future with fewer worries:

    To be in the moment:

    • Write Morning Pages – Stream of Consciousness journaling
    • Breathe
    • Walk in nature
    • Create something
    • Talk… and listen

    The constant: write Morning Pages.

  • |

    #249 You already know what I’m going to say

    ByLukas

    “You already know what I’m going to say,” the mentor I don’t have tells me.

    It’s true.

    I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.

    Neither do you.

    All you need is someone to remind you to do what you already know.

    If you had constant presence of mind, you could remind yourself.

    But if you’re anything like me, your clarity gets lost in day-to-day desires, worries, and chores.

    And that’s fine.

    Because that’s what you’re here for, no?

    Not to learn what your life should look like but to receive a reminder to live it daily?

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