#213 Comfortable dissatisfaction

ByLukas
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You’re dissatisfied with your social life, but not so much that you feel terribly lonely – so you don’t change anything.

You’re dissatisfied with your physical fitness, but not so much that you’re in pain every day – so you put up with slow deterioration.

You’re dissatisfied with your current job, but not so much that you’re dragging yourself to work – so you put up with unfulfilling days.

Being satisfied with some areas of your life is good.

Being intensely dissatisfied with some areas of your life is fine, too – because that unhappiness can be the leverage you need to make a change.

But comfortable dissatisfaction – that’s the zone where dreams and happiness go to die. And boy, have I spent a lot of time there.

So I hope you are satisfied with your life, my friend.

And if not, I hope you’re at least intensely dissatisfied.

Let that be the fuel you need to take action to change.

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    #214 Who’s in charge right now?

    ByLukas

    Habit hardliner. Epicurean. Ruthless achiever. Compassionate pushover.

    I identify with all of the above, my friend. And even though they can all be positive, I’m pretty good at letting those qualities shine in the wrong situations.

    The habit hardliner over-disciplining themselves and those around them.

    The epicurean making indulgent food decisions every day.

    The ruthless achiever neglecting their family.

    The compassionate guy being a pushover in business negotiations.

    So more out of necessity than ambition, I started asking myself: Who’s in charge right now?

    Are they the adequate identity to be in charge in whatever situation you’re in?

    It’s insightful. Not always fun. But insightful.

    And as you know by now, I like to share insights with you, my friend. Because who knows, maybe one day, one of these insights will be enlightening to you, too?

    So I invite you to give it a try.

    Right here, right now: who’s in charge?

    Maybe you’ve let some of your qualities shine in the wrong situations too.

  • |

    #267 Why intensity fades and consistency leads to change

    ByLukas

    When you write 50 pages a day, only to be forced to recover for a month.

    When you start running 5 miles a day without any preparation, only to end up injured.

    When you start studying a language for 5 hours a day, only to give up after a week.

    When you fly so close to the sun, your wings melt.

    When intensity and excitement radiate too brightly, and the reality of life suddenly slaps you in the face.

    That’s when you start appreciating the slow, steady flame of consistency that burns long and becomes brighter over time.

    And that’s when you’ll see lasting change.

  • |

    #218 The United States of “If I wanted, I could”

    ByLukas

    The path toward self-awareness isn’t always pleasant. 

    Take yesterday, when I realized that in many cases, I’m more interested in the comfort of “wanting” something I don’t have than in “taking action to get something.”

    That unappealing realization triggered a cascade of even more unappealing questions.

    Would I rather mess around with small blog posts instead of becoming a skilled writer crafting coherent arguments?

    Would I rather learn about a million different strategies to grow a newsletter instead of actually spreading the word and getting more people to read my newsletter?

    Would I rather learn how to learn a language than actually learn a new language?

    Is the frustration of unrealized potential also a huge source of comfort in my life?

    I’m not sure if I should be happy with that realization. 

    Maybe realizations aren’t even supposed to make me happy.

    But even if they were, it doesn’t matter. 

    Because look: here I am, writing another insight about it.

    Another Tiny Trust Builder, proving that every day, I am one step closer to renouncing my citizenship of the United States of “If I wanted, I could.”

    Another reminder to myself and you, my friend, one I’ll repeat until the bitter end: actions overrule thoughts.

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    #28 Write anyway – then write some more

    ByLukas

    Think you don’t have any good ideas to write about? Write anyway. Then write some more. The ideas might well reveal themselves on the page. (Morning Pages are good for this)

    Have an idea but struggle to put it into words? Write anyway… Then write some more.

    Struggling to edit your work and get it to a level where you believe it’s “publish-worthy”? Publish it anyway. especially when it’s imperfect. Once you see nothing bad happens when there’s a typo or an awkward sentence, your self-trust grows, your editing will become less judgmental, and your creativity will soar.

    Scared of publishing your work, being judged, being seen? Publish anyway. Then publish some more. When you increase your publishing frequency, there’s less burden on that one post, video, book, piece of art.

    You can only overcome the objections your mind invents by not letting them stop you from sculpting away, day by day.

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    #230 It’s so much, until it isn’t

    ByLukas

    “Write 3 pages of Stream of Consciousness journaling.”

    “Coming up with 100 things to be grateful about.”

    “Publish a daily insight.”

    My initial reaction, and maybe yours, is, “That’s so much.”

    And that’s exactly the point.

    It IS a lot.

    But actually, it isn’t.

    And when you try it out, and see that it isn’t, you’ve shattered the illusion of scarcity and discovered abundance.

    Maybe we humans are wired to believe in scarcity and fighting over sparse food.

    And while that may serve us well, in many endeavors, there’s much more abundance than we think.

    If your gut reaction was, “That’s so much,” I invite you to try it out.

    Write down what the voice in your head talks about for 3 entire pages.

    Write down 100 things you’re grateful for.

    Challenge the scarcity mindset.

    There may well be abundance on the other side.

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