#208 How to get out of your self-improvement prison

ByLukas
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You feel bad because you don’t write.

And when you write, you feel bad because you’re scared of the inevitable day you stop writing.

That’s how you create a self-improvement prison.

And that prison has only one way out.

Intend to do what’s good for you.

Then realize that even if you don’t live up to that standard all the time, you’re still worthy of self-love and self-trust.

Focus on intention, not outcome.

Focus on cultivating elastic discipline rather than on becoming a habit hardliner.

Focus on the general direction of your life, not a day-by-day judgment of your every action.

Maintain a majority vote for who you want to be.

Realize you’re not going to be perfect today – and being perfect isn’t the goal anyway.

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    #313 Keep it Achievable, Pleasurable, Sustainable

    ByLukas

    I’ve been publishing daily posts for 300+ days now.

    The secret?

    Writing less.

    • I don’t want to spend hours writing daily posts, so I keep them short.

    • I don’t want to drag myself to a 4-day writing session to create all posts for the coming week in advance (then not write for the rest of the week)

    • I don’t want to set writing goals that are painful to reach and make me feel burnt out.

    • I do want to write a little bit every day, so I prove to myself every single day that I’m a writer.

    • I do want to feel that writing that daily post is achievable and fun.

    • I do want to build momentum.

    Keep it achievable. Keep it pleasurable. Keep it sustainable.

    In other words: Tiny Trust Builders.

  • | |

    #45 The tragedy of the spoken word

    ByLukas

    Language helps us describe the world we perceive. Yet in doing so, it closes our eyes, our ears, our touch, and our heart to the parts of the world we don’t have words for.

    Every language is a lens on a felt reality within and around us – both clarifying and categorizing the world, and limiting it by the words it has available.

    Learning more languages gives you new lenses – and a richer sense of reality.

    But just like the structure of our ears limit the sounds we can hear, and the structure of our eyes limit colors we can see, the structure of any language somehow limits our felt experience of the world.

    How do we re-access memories, emotions, hidden away in a long-forgotten language?

    How do we re-learn to listen to the voices of the wordless world speaking to our animal self… the voices that once upon a time, before verbal language emerged, were all we had?

    there’s an eternal song
    drowned out by the confines of my mother tongue
    a wordless melody that once made sense
    until our brain started blurring it with a lens
    narrowing it down
    neglecting its nuances through verbs and nouns

    with all its might language wants us to abide
    but the wordless world it tries to hide
    will forever be inside

    Lukas Van Vyve
  • |

    #97 Not loneliness. Solitude.

    ByLukas

    All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

    Blaise Pascal, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/19682-all-of-humanity-s-problems-stem-from-man-s-inability-to-sit

    We often equate sitting quietly in a room alone with loneliness: a word with a negative emotional charge.

    But sitting quietly in a room can also bring solitude: the simple state of being by yourself, without any negative connotation.

    Solitude can give relief of the pressure to be constantly “socializing” (through social media apps or in real life).

    Relief of the pressure to socialize can make space.

    Space you can use to hear the thoughts in your head and the feelings in your body.

    Thoughts and feelings that can tell you what’s truly important to you.

    And then you realize that what’s truly important to you is nothing new.

    It’s something you already knew, before you learned not to listen.

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