I can’t do this yoga pose – yet.
I can’t speak Spanish – yet.
I can’t keep my attention stable during meditation – yet.
I can’t do this – yet.
(Inspired by The Practice by Seth Godin. Highly recommended.)
Every promise to yourself is a contract in invisible ink.
Jo Franco on the Not Your Average Jo podcast. I recommend you listen to this episode
But it’s not because it’s hidden from view that it doesn’t carry any weight.
Every broken contract with yourself goes on the pile of self-distrust.
So don’t overextend. Don’t make promises to yourself that you can’t keep anyway.
Start with a tiny contract with yourself. Then stick to the terms.
Build trust every day through Tiny Trust Builders.
Remember that the contract is made, so now is not the time to negotiate.
Retrace the letters of that invisible contract every single day.
Then, one day, the invisible ink is tattooed on your mind, and you’ve forged an unbreakable bond between your words and actions.
Trying to become good fast makes you impatient. And impatience may well stop you from ever becoming good in the first place.
Because the only way to become good is by understanding that in today’s practice session, you likely won’t be perfect anyway.
That you likely won’t write your most insightful words.
That you likely won’t run an all-time best.
That you’ll likely spend a large part of your yoga session stumbling and losing balance.
When you go into your practice session with that mindset…
Suddenly it makes sense to focus hard on getting that one sentence right.
Now it makes sense to focus on rhythmic breathing while running instead of pushing for a better time.
Now it makes sense to focus on a tiny part of your body during an entire yoga session to train your awareness instead of trying to chase poses because “they look professional.”
Even if there is not much time to “become good,” it still makes sense to assume there is time.
Because that gives you the freedom to focus on the small adjustments that prepare you for when the time comes, and you truly need to perform.
Since I’m always practicing anyway, I don’t have to be good at this today.
We get hungry and look for food. Then we get hungry again.
We get thirsty and look for water. Then we’re thirsty again.
We want to create art and learn how to sing. Then we want to create more and learn how to draw.
Full satisfaction with our life as it is is an illusion. Desire will always be there, even if we think we’ve reached all our goals.
Without a gap between what we do and what we want to do, what we have and what we want, who we are and who we want to be, life becomes meaningless.
With that knowledge, how can we still be fulfilled?
The fulfillment formula may help:
Regardless of outcomes and results, are the majority of your daily actions in alignment with your purpose, values, and the identity you want to forge?
Playing the guitar hasn’t taught me to move my hands and fingers across strings. It has taught me to persevere whenever I’m failing over and over again until suddenly, it all clicks and the words, music, or movements flow.
Yoga hasn’t taught me to put my body in awkward poses. It has taught me to be aware of – and release – the tension in my body whenever I sit, walk, stand, and run.
Taking cold showers hasn’t taught me to withstand cold water. It has taught me to know to relax whenever my body tenses up in stress and my heart starts racing.
Learning a foreign language hasn’t taught me to say the same things with different words. It has taught me that there are different ways of perceiving the wordless world around me, and expressing what I feel inside.
When we isolate insights, most of the learning is lost on us.
Learn thematically. Ask yourself, “Where else does this apply?”
When chasing fame leads to your own kids not remembering your name.
When chasing love leads to fear of being alone.
When chasing success leads to loneliness.
It may be necessary.
It may be good.
It may be worth it.
As long as you’re aware there’s always a sacrifice to make.
Writing every day won’t always help you achieve your greatest desires.
But it might help you lose them — when you realize that what you really wanted was not the outcome, but the feeling of consciously choosing who you want to be, and consciously acting in alignment with that choice.
Once the desires have fallen away, all that remains is the fulfillment every day.
You can relax now.
