#175 Perpetuating painful comfort

ByLukas
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We naturally move towards pleasure and away from pain – with one exception: painful comfort.

If you’re used to believing that you’re bad at languages, there’s painful comfort in struggling with languages.

If you’re used to negative self-talk, there’s painful comfort in negative self-talk.

If you’re used to working 12-hour days, there’s painful comfort in working 12-hour days.

If you’re used to constant conflict, there’s painful comfort in constant conflict.

If you’re used to neglect, there’s painful comfort in neglect.

Painful comfort is keeping you comfortable AND hurting you.

Years of conditioning have given it an irresistible pull – until you decide to take a leap of faith and start believing that you, too, can change.

Where are you perpetuating painful comfort in life?

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    #26 Becoming less blind to what’s already here

    ByLukas

    I write about the same topics over and over again, with slightly different words.

    I listen to people explaining the same topics over and over again, with a slightly different interpretation.

    I practice the same breathing exercises every day, becoming aware of changes so subtle it’s hard to believe they make any difference.

    While all that energy spent on what seems like “repeating” and “reviewing” might seem like a waste of time, the constant revisiting of things we already know is how I grow.

    Because with every repetition I’m discovering a new part of the same insight.

    A new nuance that in itself might seem insignificant, but added to my personal experience, insights, understanding, might make all the difference.

    And with every new insight, I become a little less blind to what’s already here.

    In the process, I have to accept that the perfect words might never come.

    The perfect explanation might never come.

    The perfect execution of a skill might never happen.

    But if I stay the course, my understanding of what matters to me in life will always keep growing.

    At some point, through all the practicing, learning, reading, writing, I might stumble upon a groundbreaking insight.

    Or maybe it never happens.

    It doesn’t matter. I feel fulfilled regardless… As long as I keep sculpting away, day by day.

  • #388 The one tiny thing you should do today

    ByLukas

    What’s one tiny thing you can do every day that proves to yourself that your goals are important to you?

    One tiny action you can take even on the worst days when you’re sick, your car breaks down, or you have a crazy busy day?

    One tiny action that, if done every day, will transform your identity?

    One Tiny Trust Builder that shows: “This is what I stand for, who I am, and who I want to be.”

    Decide on it. Stick to it. And as your self-trust grows… be happier for it.

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    #143 Tipping the scale

    ByLukas

    A voice in my head says I can’t write every day?

    I’ll write 2 sentences every day, just to prove to that voice that I, in fact, CAN write every day.

    A voice in my head says I don’t have the perseverance to train for (and then finish) a marathon?

    I’ll do something small to prepare for the marathon every day, so at the end of each day, I can say to myself “The proof is there, today was another day of me persevering and preparing for a marathon.”

    You can’t brute-force your way out of an “I can’t do this” belief. You can only take small actions that start proving the contrary.

    Slowly but surely, you chip away at the credibility of the naysayer voice, until the scale starts tipping over, and an encouraging voice emerges.

    Tiny trust builders.

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