#153 When most of the learning is lost on us.

I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
I write, re-write
and never am I satisfied.

I get closer, or so I think
And then the next day, I jump back in
and instantly sink.

I need answers…
Even though deep down I know,
the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

Yet, I have to try.

Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

How? I don’t know.

When? I don’t know.

Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

Anyway.

Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
and write in peace.

Will you ever write that book?
Who knows. We’ll see.
So for now, just focus on who you want to be.
Do that every day, and wherever you end up, is where you’re supposed to be.

Here’s a question Tim Ferris asks startup founders (and himself) when deciding to invest time and money into a new project:

“If, in one (or two, or three) years from now, this whole project has failed miserably… Which assumptions you hold today were proven wrong?”

Tim Ferris

Answering the question first requires defining failure and success.

For my project of publishing a daily insight on this blog success looks like this:

Write & publish.

Edit.

Write & publish.

Edit.

Then write & publish some more.

Good, bad, well-received or not, received or read by anyone at all, it doesn’t matter.

Because first of all, writing is a creative outlet for me.

Second: long as I write & publish consistently, I trust I will get better at writing and publishing.

Finally: I trust that from all that sculpting away, day by day, will come better and better insights.

A pretty low bar for success – which, counterintuitively, often leads to more progress long-term.

Now we have established that:

What are the assumptions that could be wrong if next year, it turns out I failed to write & publish every day?

Here are some I can think of:

• Writing and publishing every day is going to be a long-term fulfilling activity for me
• I am truly fine with writing and publishing without anyone ever reading it
• I am fine spending considerable time on starting a new project that I might never monetize
• Writing & publishing every day really leads to better writing skills and interesting insights (although even if this assumption is false, it wouldn’t necessarily stop me from writing.)

Will these assumptions be proven wrong?

Only time will tell.

Until then… I write & publish… then write & publish some more.