Giving up on your intentions once doesn’t mean you’ll always give up.
Quitting a workout routine or diet once doesn’t mean you’re doomed forever.
Giving one clumsy speech doesn’t mean you’re a bad public speaker forever.
Learning from the past is good. But predicting the future based on a small set of isolated past experiences is overcalibration.
There will always be someplace to come home – so be free, go explore.
And yet, there will always be someplace else to go – and what you’re searching for, you may as well find at home.
Be free.
Explore.
Come home.
You already have what you’re searching for.
I can choose to procrastinate on a project for weeks – then finish it all in one go, right before the deadline.
In absolute terms, I might have been very efficient with my time – but the time I saved, I spent frustrated with myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I’m a procrastinator.
What if I work a little bit on a project every single day – and have it finished well before the deadline?
I might spend more time in total – but every day, every moment spent makes me feel good about myself.
The long-term effect on my self-image: I cultivate an identity of discipline and consistency. I do what I believe to be good for me. I build character. Taking small daily actions towards a goal becomes part of my identity.
What’s more: I avoid the frustration and resentment that comes with procrastination (=not doing what I know I should be doing), and feel good about myself instead.
Long-term, the benefits of small daily actions always outweigh huge last-minute efforts.
Publishing a daily blog post may seem unreasonable to you,
but for me, it’s just what I do.
Going for a daily run may seem unreasonable to you,
but for me… it’s just what I do.
For you it may be an unreasonable thing to do,
yeet I am me.
And you are you.
What’s an unreasonable thing for everyone else,
but for you, it’s just what you do?
Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).
Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.
There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.
I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.
I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.
I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.
Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.
Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.
So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.
The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.
We get hungry and look for food. Then we get hungry again.
We get thirsty and look for water. Then we’re thirsty again.
We want to create art and learn how to sing. Then we want to create more and learn how to draw.
Full satisfaction with our life as it is is an illusion. Desire will always be there, even if we think we’ve reached all our goals.
Without a gap between what we do and what we want to do, what we have and what we want, who we are and who we want to be, life becomes meaningless.
With that knowledge, how can we still be fulfilled?
The fulfillment formula may help:
Regardless of outcomes and results, are the majority of your daily actions in alignment with your purpose, values, and the identity you want to forge?
Start small.
Very small.
So small, it might feel silly at first.
For example, if you’ve committed to writing every day, don’t start by aiming to write a thousand words. Start with something you can absolutely, positively achieve.
Maybe that’s writing one sentence. Maybe it’s opening your notebook. Maybe it’s just holding a pen!
Your goal isn’t to produce fantastic prose, but simply to show up and write something.
After all, before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.
