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    #229 What are you striving for?

    Am I running to get in better shape or to get distracting thoughts out of my head?

    Am I going out to enjoy being with friends or to forget my worries?

    Am I writing to grow an audience or to process my own emotions?

    What am I striving for?

    Your answers may vary from day to day. There are no right or wrong answers anyway.

    But that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful to understand why you behave the way you do.

    Maybe it even makes you curious about why others behave the way they do, too.

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    #25 Pre-emptive disqualification

    In the series of self-sabotaging behavior I’ve observed in myself and others: “pre-emptively disqualifying yourself”.

    Before you even start, you’re depriving yourself already of any potential benefit of the exercise because you don’t know if you’ll get the EXACT benefit promised/desired by you.

    “This exercise might have cured your neck pain, but I’ve always had neck problems, it won’t chage anything.”

    “You might be able to write every day, but for me, in my situation, that would never be possible.”

    This shows a lack of understanding of learning principles. Because with any exercise, program, diet, methodology, you’ll never get the exact same results as someone else, because you can never replicate the exact circumstances and actions of a person.

    Instead, you do the exercise/program/diet/… within the framework of your own personal context/skills/past experience. Within that context, it will guide your learning process. But the outcome resulting from it is personal.

    Variance is to be expected, and this is a good thing. Because this is how innovation happens: actions in different types of circumstances lead to slightly different results. Sometime that leads to disappointment, sometimes to real breakthroughs.

    Getting different results, then, is not a reason to pre-emptively disqualify yourself, or to claim something doesn’t work. Because the true value doesn’t lie in getting the exact same results as someone else, but rather, to consciously set the general direction of our lives.

    Every day, we have to make so many decisions that lead us down different future paths, so modeling someone and using their actions as a guiding principle will greatly increase the probability of you going in the direction you desire, and getting results in the same ballpark.

    For example, I’ve been doing Dylan Werner’s yoga classes on Alo Moves (my go-to online yoga/fitness/meditation app) consistently for almost two years now. Even if I continue to follow his exact schedule for two more years, chances are, I still might not be able to do something like this:

    After all, we have a different body structure, different gene disposition, different circumstances, and I’ll have to adapt his schedule to my personal capacity.

    Still, if I follow his schedule I’ll definitely become much stronger and healthier than if I chose to model a couch potato, watch TV and eat fries and burgers all day. And that’s what it’s all about.

    Modeling, in that point of view, are an effective way to accelerate your progress and lead your life in the direction you want, without you having to know exactly which results you’ll get.

    In other words: when you let go of the need to predict exact future outcomes, you can stop pre-emptively disqualifying yourself, and start pro-actively setting the direction of your life.

  • #387 We all need to be saved from ourselves

    We all have the ability to decide what’s good for us when we take the time to reflect on it.

    But we also overestimate our ability to decide what’s good for us in the moment.

    Which means that we all need to be saved from ourselves.

    How?

    By deciding in advance.

    I’m going to write, because I decided in advance that that’s good for me – even if in the moment, I’d rather do something else.

    I’m going to eat those vegetables, because I decided in advance that that’s good for me – even if in the moment, I’d rather eat those fries.

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    #53 The flow of skill- and habit-building

    First, build trust in your good intentions. In other words: take actions that are “votes for the person you want to be“.

    Then, build trust in your ability to persevere. In other words: build a habit.

    Only then, you start building trust in your ability to constantly improve and become good (or excellent). In other words: build skill.

    Building the habit is the hard part – even more so if you simultaneously try to “be good at what you do”. Once your reach habit escape velocity and the habit is in place, building skill becomes way easier.

    Another reason why there’s power in publishing imperfect work.


    First I become good at writing every day.
    Then I become good at writing.

    First I become good at playing the guitar every day.
    Then I become good at playing the guitar.

    First I become good at doing yoga every day.
    Then I become good at yoga.

    First I become good at meditating every day.
    Then I become good at meditating.

    Lukas Van Vyve

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