#139 Habit Milestones

ByLukas
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The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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    #147 Purposeful Passion vs Compulsive Addiction

    ByLukas

    Working on your business so hard you neglect your health – and end up in bed with a burnout.

    Being so absorbed with selflessly helping others you forget to set boundaries – and end up drained and resentful.

    Being so focused on the practice your neglect your friends and family – and you end up lonely.

    The line between purposeful passion and compulsive addiction is thin.

    This is where trust building comes in.

    Building trust in your intentions – so you verify that your actions benefit you and your environment.

    Building trust in your self-awareness – so you notice when you cross over in compulsive obsession space, and pull yourself back into purposeful passion territory.

    Building trust in the people around you – so you listen to them when they see you’re slipping, and you let them help you get back on the right path.

    Trust is a beacon of light, keeping you on track.

    What will you do today to protect and fuel it?

    Tiny Trust Builders.

  • | | |

    #77 Do, Then Believe

    ByLukas

    I couldn’t imagine finding time for 3 pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling a day – until I started writing them. 700 days later, I haven’t missed a day.

    I couldn’t imagine finding time or energy to publish a daily blog post – until I started publishing them. 70 days later, I haven’t missed a day.

    I couldn’t imagine finding time or willpower for 5 yoga sessions a week – until I started doing them. 2 years later, I can’t imagine not doing them anymore.

    Sometimes it’s hard to see how you could have time or energy for something before you just start doing it. Then it becomes the new normal.

    It’s your mind playing tricks on you.

    Start doing (and start small). Keep doing. Then start believing.

  • | |

    #63 Completion vs Consistency: True Life Projects

    ByLukas

    Completion projects leads to restless rushing, an achievement, then a black hole. Indecision.

    I got the promotion. I wrote the book. I finished the degree. I built the house. I sold the business. Now who am I… and what’s next?

    Consistency projects lead to a change in habits and identity. Every day, I do what I believe to be true to who I am. As a result, every day, I’m becoming who I truly want to be.

    Consistency projects are true life projects, because they’re about taking daily actions and installing habits, never-ending until they come to their natural conclusion.

    I’ll write every day without ever thinking I’m writing my last words. Now I’m a writer… until one day, I feel: the season of writing is over.

    You’ll tend to gardens, plants, and trees every day without ever thinking this is the last flower you’ll hold in your hand… until one day, you feel: the season of tree-tending is over.

    We take care of our children from the moment they’re born, without thinking about letting them go. Now we’re caretakers… until one day, we feel: the season of caretaking is over.

    We’ll breathe every day, without ever thinking about breathing our last breath. Now we’re breathers… until one day, we feel: the season of breathing is over.

    Lukas Van Vyve

  • #9 Striking gold

    ByLukas

    I’ve tirelessly written at least 300 journal entries on the same topic in the belief that in the 301st, I’ll strike gold and find the exact words I’m looking for.

    And it took me a while to accept that that’s an illusion.

    Maybe every attempt is really just the same struggle to find the right words for ideas, thoughts, insights that were never meant to be captured into words in the first place?

    And yet I bend, I twist, I turn, I squirm,
    I write, re-write
    and never am I satisfied.

    I get closer, or so I think
    And then the next day, I jump back in
    and instantly sink.

    I need answers…
    Even though deep down I know,
    the only certainty is that I’ll never get them.

    Yet, I have to try.

    Because while every day of writing is a struggle, the true value lies in the daily struggle of writing.

    Although it might look like I’m not making progress, writing and creativity is just not a linear process.

    In reality, as long as a I write every day, I’m focusing my mind on what I’m trying to say. I’m sculpting away, and someway, somehow the essence will emerge from my 300 journal entries and reveal itself.

    How? I don’t know.

    When? I don’t know.

    Probably not while I’m writing (read why here)… even though the writing is what makes it possible.

    Anyway.

    Now I know day 1, 11, 50, 299, 300, 301, 3001 are all equally important…
    I’m finally ready to accept the struggle
    and write in peace.

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