#137 Until here and no further

You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.

I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.

I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.

But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.

I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.

I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.

There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:

When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.

Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.

Trust you must.

Once you’ve been writing daily for long enough, continuing to write is the easier option, more aligned with your habits and identity.

Just like for most people, it feels more natural to continue brushing their teeth every day than to skip a day.

But when you’re still building the writing habit, skipping the writing is the easier option.

Which means it shouldn’t be an option at all — until it has become an option you’re not interested in anymore.

The other day you asked about my favorite words.

But what I really want to write about is my favorite questions.

Because as much as words can spark imagination, questions are what steer the mind – to good places or bad.

Consider this one:

“Why do I always give up when I start a new habit?“

This presupposes that I always give up and will ask my brain to come up with reasons (and excuses) to justify and perpetuate that behavior.

• Why do I always get frustrated when something doesn’t go my way?
• Why do I always wait until the last minute to start on a project, so I get stressed and barely meet the deadline?
• Why do I always give up when I start writing and publishing daily?

And off I go, finding excuses for behavior, thus perpetuation.

“Look at all the reasons I found for behaving this way. I may not like it, but I guess this is who I am.”

Why would you send your mind there… If you could also ask yourself a question like:

“What would it feel like if I were already writing and publishing every day?”

How would I feel about myself…

How would I look at myself?

What would I say, what would I create… How would I act?

Which obstacles would I have conquered?

Which excuses would have become irrelevant, making me shake my head, saying to myself, “How did I ever let that stop me?”

And just like that, with my imagination set free

internal resistance melting away

off I go

finally becoming who I’ve always wanted to be.

P.S: If you MUST ask the “Why do I always…” questions, at least use them to justify and perpetuate positive behavior.

Why do I always wake up and immediately write three pages stream of consciousness?

• Because it helps me slow down.
• Because it makes me aware of negative (and positive thought patterns).
• Because I feel calm after writing them.
• Because ever since I started, more creative, productive, and disciplined
• Because this is who I am now. And I love this version of me much more than the one from before I started writing every day.

P.P.S.: Alright then, one more question to think (or journal) about:

Where am I perpetuating a situation or habit I say I don’t want but I secretly cling to because it feels comfortable and has become part of my identity?

Giving it your best doesn’t mean you’ll always create your best work.

But when you give it your best daily and you zoom out, you’ll notice how, slowly but surely, your best work becomes better and better.

And that’s all that matters.