#134 Losing makes you a loser – and that’s fine

ByLukas
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You can’t change the fact that winning makes you a winner and losing makes you a loser.

But you CAN:

  • stop caring about winning and losing in the first place; or
  • change your definition of winning and losing so winning becomes easier, and losing harder.

What if, instead of only winning when you beat your opponent, to you, winning means giving it your all and putting your heart on the line?

What if, to you, winning doesn’t mean writing a bestselling book (which is out of your control anyway) but showing the discipline to write a book in the first place… a book that potentially could be a bestseller?

What if, to you, losing doesn’t mean suffering a defeat but giving in to your fear and never starting in the first place?

Make your own rules around winning and losing, and don’t make them too hard on yourself. It’s a simple and viable way to feel better every day.

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    #156 Making the future just a little brighter

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    A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.

    It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.

    Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.

    So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.

    I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.

    I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.

    And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.

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    #113 Make space

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    Actions overrule thoughts, and sometimes the best creative act – and the one requiring the most discipline – is doing nothing.

    Because when you slow down your pace, suddenly you realize: there’s space.

    There’s space for the thoughts and feelings you were so afraid to face.

    There’s space to redirect the energy you’ve misplaced.

    There’s space to rediscover everything that escaped your gaze while you were engaged in an endless rat race.

    There’s space for you to remember
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    there was a place of stillness
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    where all the answers were right there, in your face

    Only when you’ve slowed down your mind’s pace
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    Make space.

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    #81 Am I willing?

    ByLukas

    I can say I want to publish a new book.

    Double my income.

    Get in shape.

    Learn another language.

    But hidden beneath the surface of lofty goals are daily actions.

    Publishing a book… What does that really mean?

    Who is that person who has published the book? (Not just written… actually published?)

    What do they say to themselves?

    What do they think?

    What do they feel?

    What do they do every day? And what can I start doing every day to become more of that person who has written that book?

    Most importantly, am I willing to take those actions every day to reach whatever goal I’m after?

    Am I willing to change?

    If not, is that goal even important to me?

    Who do I choose to be?

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    #189 Cling and let go

    ByLukas

    If I want to act differently, I let go of the past.

    If I want to act the same way I always did, I cling to the past.

    Both clinging and letting go have their place.

    I could cling to a habit of eating healthily, or treating others with kindness.

    But maybe I could let go of a habit of self-criticism.

    What benefits me? What benefits others?

    What harms me? What harms others?

    Who do I want to be?

One Comment

  1. This is such a great insight for those who are naturally competitive and are afraid to try things because they are afraid they can’t win! That “must win” attitude can spoil an activity for the whole group. Thanks for saying it so clearly!!

    Reply

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