You don’t need a motivational speech.
But you may need a reminder of who you choose to be, and what the person you choose to be would do right now.
And once you remember, you’ll have all the motivation you need.
I can worry a thousand times until my worries come true.
I can envision my dreams a thousand times until my dreams come true.
Not because of the act of worrying or the dreaming itself.
But because my worries or dreams will incite different present actions taking me down different paths.
Whatever future I focus on a thousand times, I’ll be drawn towards.
Choose wisely.
One more word.
One more practice run.
One more yoga session.
One more moment of doing what’s important to you.
One more moment that brings you closer to who you choose to be.
Just one more.
835 days ago, I started writing three pages of stream-of-consciousness journaling every day.
It’s my one habit where I haven’t missed a single day, but not because I’m afraid I would quit if I skipped a day (I’ve built up enough self-trust and elastic discipline by now).
Not because I derive so much creative and therapeutic benefit from it either (I do, but skipping a day here and there wouldn’t diminish that benefit).
None of that would warrant my hardliner habit approach to journaling, my friend. You know I’m more of an elastic discipline guy.
The real reason I never miss a journaling day is that it was the first habit I ever managed to stick to consistently.
Because of that, it reminds me that I can change my beliefs, habits, and identity, no matter how hard it seems.
It reminds me that, on that momentous day in 2021, my identity started shifting from eternal quitter to consistent go-getter.
It reminds me that actions overrule thoughts.
In other words: Journaling daily has become a beacon of self-trust.
And I’ll be eternally grateful for the day I decided to take a pen and put it on the paper.
I hope you have such a beacon of self-trust in your life.
And if not, I hope you’ll find or create one soon.
P.S. Maybe you already have a beacon of trust, but you’re not aware of it.
After all, the specific activity doesn’t matter.
You could go for a walk every day. Play the guitar. Learn a new phrase in a new language. Do one pushup.
Anything that reminds you of the fact that you, too, can do things aligned with who you want to be.
P.P.S I’m curious… If you have a beacon of self-trust, what is it? Let me know by replying to this Insight!
Will you ever write that book?
Who knows. We’ll see.
So for now, just focus on who you want to be.
Do that every day, and wherever you end up, is where you’re supposed to be.
Every time I commit to do something and then follow through, I’m building self-trust in my ability to persevere (because actions overrule thoughts).
Now here’s the pitfall: the action you commit to doesn’t have to be grand or impressive for you to build trust.
There’s only one thing that matters: commit, then follow through.
I set out to meditate 30 seconds today – and I follow through? I’m building self-trust. I’m a meditator now.
I set out to write one sentence – and I actually write one sentence? I’m building self-trust. I’m a writer now.
I set out to do one push-up – and I do one push-up? I’m building self-trust. I’m an exerciser now.
Such tiny actions might not make a huge difference in your skill level, but that’s irrelevant. You’re not building skill (yet). You’re building self-trust by making commitments, then following through.
Once you trust yourself to follow through, you can start thinking about skill. That’s the flow of skill- and habit-building.
So… first things first. Commit to a tiny action. Follow through. Build self-trust and self-esteem.
The magic is in the Tiny Trust Builders.
In the moment, I don’t feel like a yoga pose comes easy to me – until I look back to how it felt 6 months ago.
In the moment, I don’t really feel like particularly good writer – until I look back on how hard it was to write these daily insights a year ago.
You don’t need to see progress every single day to know that you’re getting better.
Because the things that truly matter often change so slowly that you don’t notice them… unless you take the time to reflect on them.
Changes too small to notice today become impossible to ignore when they stack up.
